Episode · Apr 15, 2026 · 1 hr 39 min
From NFL Star to Starting Over
with Eric Decker
Eric Decker is a former NFL wide receiver who played in a Super Bowl and had to rebuild his sense of purpose after retiring.
“sports was my life. It was my identity.”
Summary
Decker grew up in Cold Spring, Minnesota, where sports shaped town and family life. He talks about his parents' divorce, the pressure he felt around his father and the way he later approached his own children's sports. After playing football and baseball at the University of Minnesota, a Lisfranc injury ended his senior season and complicated his draft outlook. Denver selected him, and he became a receiver during the Peyton Manning era, reaching the Super Bowl against Seattle.
Retirement first felt like relief, then left Decker without the schedule and team identity that had organized his days. He describes becoming withdrawn, resisting his wife's suggestions and eventually attending an Onsite therapy retreat. The conversation also covers meeting Jessie James Decker, raising their children, reality television and Special Forces in Morocco. Decker talks about the strain of asking for help and learning to build a life around relationships and interests beyond football.
Show notes
Former NFL wide receiver Eric Decker had everything most people chase—success, fame, a Super Bowl appearance, and a picture-perfect life on the outside.
But when football ended, so did the structure, identity, and validation he had relied on his entire life.
In this conversation, Eric opens up about what really happens after the dream is over—struggling with confidence, anxiety, and purpose, and confronting the deeper issues rooted in childhood, family, and self-worth.
He shares the turning point that forced him to face it all: therapy, vulnerability, and doing the inner work most men avoid.
We also go deep on fatherhood, pressure, and how to show up better for your kids… plus the journey from small-town Minnesota to the NFL, draft-day uncertainty, a devastating Lisfranc injury, and playing in a Super Bowl.
This is a conversation about identity, masculinity, and what it actually takes to rebuild your life when the thing you thought defined you is gone.
Transcript
Made from YouTube's automatic captions and lightly corrected, so a few words and names may be off. Click a time to play the video from there.
Ken Rideout
Eric Decker, welcome to the show. One of my dearest, most beloved friends. Thank you for doing this.
Eric Decker
Yeah, man. I appreciate you having me on. It's been too long. We needed to do this for a while.
Ken Rideout
Yeah, well, I think now that the Well, for the people that have read the book, you're a a character in the book and it's funny like when it comes to athletes and people in like the the public eye or celebrities for for lack of a better term. And they look at you and I was saying this like the average guy is never going to be you. He does he has nothing in common playing two Division I sports, a superstar in the NFL, just like the best of the best.
Like you can't work your way into that position if you don't have certain gifts to start with. And then it takes a ton of work. But everyone can relate to the things that you and I have struggled with as men.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
But not everyone's comfortable talking about it. So when you talk about when I talk about vulnerabilities and talk about meeting you at Onsite, people immediately like love Eric Decker because they're like, "This guy is a stud, did all these things, his wife's gorgeous, got a great family. I can't believe he has things he's got to work on." Cuz like the great you know, people think that they know everything about others, especially in the age of social media. But I think the fact that you're willing to be vulnerable and be yourself and not afraid to not that you were writing a book about yourself, but I put you in there at your with your approval.
I think that that's something that men can really relate to.
Eric Decker
Yeah. Well, I think you know, that was such a good phase of my life. I feel like I've been on a growth self-growth period since I met you at Onsite. And I think that transition out of sports like sports, you know, you get so much validation. We're talking about validation earlier. And like that was my playground. That's where I got validated. That's where I had purpose. That's where I had identity. And you know, as Uh, that was taken away in a sense of retiring. I think I pulled back the layers and realized man, I I lack some stuff.
I lack obviously confidence, self-confidence. I lack identity. I lack a lot of these things that I thought I had through sport, you know, and it wasn't necessarily internal strength. It was an external validation that can be unhealthy. And then as I kept pulling the layers back, I realized where it stemmed from. And everything I feel like as a human being stems from your childhood in one way or the other. And so, there was things in my childhood I never addressed, I never really processed or talked about.
And And so, those things just came to light. And I think realizing putting those things in in a place, understanding you know, why you react the way you do, why you feel the way about certain things all stems from somewhere. And And And at least as you can identify that, you can grow from it. And so, that experience for me was tremendous.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. And for people that don't know, we we met at a facility called Onsite Workshops, which is like a 4 or 5 day intensive group and individual therapy. So, there's a lot of group work and then you go to break into a smaller group or as you and I did, we're both in our own individual with our own therapist, but like 8 hours a day of like hardcore therapy. And uh I walk in the first day and they're like I think I was in denial cuz I didn't really want to do it, but I knew I needed to do it.
So, I showed up. Of course, they take the phone and all your communications, which I should have known, but I was I literally was like blocking it out. So, when I get there and they're like, "Okay, here's your cabin." And I go over there and there's nice cabins. Very nice place. It's not cheap, but worth every penny. And I walk in and there's three beds across the room. And I'm like, "I'm too old for this, man." I go marching back over there like a petulant child.
And I'm like, "This is a mistake. I was supposed to have a single room. I'm I got There's two beds in there." Then I'm thinking, "Well, maybe they're only going to put one person. Nope, there's there's three. So, I come in and sit down. And then here comes Eric walking in. I'm like, okay, this guy's an athlete. And you're not supposed to ask anything about individuals. We just have our first name on a sticker. And I remember looking at you and going like, all right, did you play sports in college?
Yep. Did you play after college? Yep. Where did you play? Denver Jets. I'm like, okay, I know. And then it just dawned on me like, oh, it's Eric Decker. But it was funny. What was your experience when you got there and saw the beds and everything?
Eric Decker
I remember pulling up cuz it's like in the middle of nowhere.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. Cumberland Furnace in Tennessee.
Eric Decker
I mean, it was in the in the boondocks. But it's like a long kind of driveway up to the road to get to, you know, the property and the and the cabins. And as I pulled up, I knew, you know, the phones were being taken. So, I was like the last couple texts. And the anxiety of like, all right, I'm really doing this. Like, I'm here. There's no going back. And hand the phone in. Same thing. Just Sometimes I struggle I still kind of struggle with put myself in uncomfortable situations.
There's like this sense of wanting to control things and and dictate outcomes. And that was one that I knew I couldn't. And so, a lot of emotions with that. But my first, you know, remembers, especially walking in the cabin with you, was you had I think it it was taped to the wall. You had you had the document out with kind of our schedule. We had we had these schedules of kind of what the days looked like.
Ken Rideout
And you're like, oh, we're done with this hour. 72 more hours till we're out of prison. Just, you know, like it felt like we were both kind of pushing back at the experience.
Eric Decker
Oh, for sure.
And being in denial of like, why we're here. And so, as, you know, the week weekend went on, I could just see this you being softened.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And obviously me as well. And just like really buying into being vulnerable and being part of this experience. And so, that that to me was you know, the core memory because we went through this, you know, trauma bonding in a sense experience together. We were there and we had another roommate, but we really you know, after the day was done it was like, oh like that was that was an emotionally draining day. What are we doing? But we we got to kind of at least have each other's back and and make light of it.
Like I remember your humor just got me through some of the some of the the times that was, you know, just just kind of emotionally tough. So
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Uh man, what a what a what a weekend we had.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. It was uh it was funny cuz you and I like both coming from a sports background. The other guy who was with us was lovely, like big time banker at a bank. I don't want to to give too much of his info away, but older guy and he was just much more like buttoned up and we getting ready one day clowning around the way guys do. Uh not like the Trump bus talk, but but definitely like not something you'd want recorded. I'm like, all right guys, I'm going to you guys good in here?
I'm going to take a shower and you go, yeah, cool. Just leave the door and the curtain open if you don't mind. And the guy, the look on the other guy's face was like, what? Like I think he couldn't tell if like you were crazy like serious or just a lunatic but was just like goofy like locker room talk that I just thought was funny and like kept the kept the mood light, but um yeah, that was an that was an incredible experience and like you said, having you there was great because it's a very diverse crowd and and I loved everyone.
I mean, I got along really well, but having like like-minded like almost like instant buddy there was a massive difference and like you said, when you go through something like that I would if you asked me like, hey, do you want to even though you're not in good shape, you want to run 100 miles across the desert next week or you want to go to onsite? I'd be like, dude, give me the physical pain all day. I wouldn't even think twice about it. Especially for you too, like as athletic as you are.
Those things aren't hard. Doing this like inner work like inner child work and talking about your feelings to me is a lot harder than any kind of physical exertion, but I think that that's what separates people like you from other men that are just out there powering through head down and maybe being too aggressive with the kids or maybe just not recognizing why am I doing certain things and can I do a better job at this these type of interactions with teachers or with your spouse.
And to be able to go there and say like, "Look, I need help. I need to like get to a better place." Even on the outside, if it looks good to everyone else, I don't care. If I'm spending half the time like ideating on whether I want to be here, like I need to fix this. And like you, I have people that depend on me. And if I can't be the best version of myself, like I'm screwing everyone. And I talk about it all the time like exercise like your mental and physical health like your life depends on it because it does.
And if you don't take care of it, someone else will. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm not to make the trying not to make this about me.
Eric Decker
No, you're right there. I mean, but that's uh a great point cuz forever, you know, I I've known physical conditioning. Getting ready for football, you know, playing multiple sports. Like that was what I what I knew. And then you talk about emotional and and mental uh intelligence, it's like, "Okay, well, you know, just if I got a problem, those stuff that you know, I'll put that somewhere and and not worry about it cuz I got a goal in mind to get physically stronger or to win a championship in football.
And so, as I think we all go through life and we all have our own challenges, if you don't address that issue or you don't have the the resources, you know, it could be friends, could be mentors, could be therapists, whomever, you have to have also the ability to say, "I need help." Like that is the first step. I think that was the hardest thing for me to recognize like, "I'm in this depressional state. I'm like, you know, navigating through life." And Jess is like, "Hey, I I think you need to like go like talk to someone and you get some help." And I'm like, "I'm fine.
I'm fine. Like I can do it myself." You know, that's the kind of the ego part, especially as men, we have these egos that we don't need anyone else. We don't need help. We don't, you know, we we'll figure it out cuz it's cuz as physical athletes, you just do. You just grind it out. You figure it out. But it's not the same case and so that uh you know, that bond, I guess, to know that you are in my life and other men in my life that have that ability to say like, "Listen, I'm a man, but I do have
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Things I struggle with and let's talk about it. Let's get deep." And that's that's a beautiful thing that you can have depth in a relationship and talk about life and and, you know, the struggles and and and the beautiful things of it as well that we we cherish. So, I'm just grateful, like I said, for for your relationship.
Ken Rideout
Thank you, brother. Well, there's there's there is, I think, sometimes people that struggle, men that struggle with the ability to connect with their like feelings, I think it's very easy for men that have that have a hard time to be like, "That's for Like, I don't need that." Like, I I think it's the opposite. It takes a strong guy to be like, "Hey, I need help. I want to be a good husband to my wife." And if you think that this represents weakness, I always say to people, "If you think that the way that I'm behaving or or things I'm talking about be um reflect weakness, try me."
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Like, I'll let these hands go. I have no problem. Don't misinterpret toughness with like being emotionally intelligent for the people around you. My My kids and wife don't need a an aggressive monster around all the time, which is my default setting. Like, for through my own insecurities, my my own insecurities and and and issues with myself cause me to put up a a barrier that's like, "Don't get close to me. I'm crazy." But that's not strength. That's weakness.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Like, physically, I'm good. I can I can handle myself, but it takes much more strength to recognize like, "This ain't force isn't always the answer." Sometimes it calls for diplomacy and kindness. And you get a lot more out of being kind to people and being of service, than intimidating people.
Eric Decker
100%
Ken Rideout
You kicked the out of me at pickleball to the point where I'm like, "How am I even in the same species with this guy? He's killing me at everything." But pickleball, you played college baseball, uh obviously professional football. Where'd you grow up and were you always into sports?
Eric Decker
So I grew up in a small town in Minnesota, central Minnesota, Cold Spring, Minnesota is the town. Small town, 3,000 people. Um and really sports was like the entertainment and the identity of that community. Um my family, both sides of my family, mom and dad side, were were athletic folks. Um and so just kind of was infused in in our genetics. And so I loved going to the baseball park. We had this amateur baseball team in our town, and that was kind of like a second home for me.
I grew
Ken Rideout
Like a single A team? Like a minor league?
Eric Decker
It was just like old people that played
Ken Rideout
Oh, okay. Like a men's league?
Eric Decker
Like a men's league, exactly. But it But Minnesota has a real serious amateur baseball league. So, you got former college guys, you got current college guys that will play. There's a couple 40-year-olds that were even playing. So, it it spans a couple generations. Um but that was the place where I went and just like I want to be part of sports. You know, it just felt like home to me. And so, grew up playing basketball, baseball, football, ran a little track. Um and for me that was in a sense my my way out, too.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And I I wanted to like really prove myself athletically cuz I thought it would give validation and maybe just like uh for my dad to see me as like, "Oh, wow, this is an amazing amazing child because he's athletic." And you know, to now think as a as a father like I'm I'm striving to garnish love from my dad as an athlete, you know, like sounds crazy. And so,
Ken Rideout
It's not crazy at all.
Eric Decker
Sports
Ken Rideout
That's what happens to a lot of men. Even if they don't want to acknowledge like, "I'm not trying to do this for my dad. I'm doing this for myself." But if you really dig deep, a lot of us have gone through this. Even if you have a problem with something about your dad, you're still like all I wanted was the affection of this other guy in my life.
Eric Decker
Yep. Yeah, and that's that's what it was. And so, that was the driving factor outside of the love I naturally had for sports. Um and so, fast forward, he got the opportunity to go to a a camp at University of Minnesota cuz
Ken Rideout
Before you before you get to that one quick, I just have a some when you were a little kid, was sports like I mean, we we both live now in Brentwood right outside of Nashville, Tennessee and it's effing crazy. I mean,
The dedication of the parents in some cases more than the kids of the dad wanting the kid to be like an elite football player, baseball player. They're all specializing in something. You know what I talk about. We'll come back to that. But when you were a kid, was it What was the vibe like? Would like Did everyone like you just play every season? you just go to another sport you're not going to like football camp and showing up with sunglasses and mouthpieces and like It's well like I said we'll get into that kids sports thing in a bit but what what was the what was the vibe like as a kid?
Eric Decker
Was it
It was you know all recreational so I mean it was like I said a small town of 3000 people we had summer leagues with the you know kind of youth that lived in that in that city and the surrounding towns. Um no travel until I got like to to 7th 8th grade. So it was very you know in in a sense that it was just kind of show up and the parents put you in these programs
Ken Rideout
Kind of the way it's supposed to be.
Eric Decker
Daycare and but but you love sports and you wanted to be active and that was yeah exactly how the way it's supposed to be. It wasn't specialized weren't driving 20 minutes somewhere to get specific training or to be on a specific team. Um you know there was just local local high school camps and there was recreational stuff.
Ken Rideout
Were you head and shoulders above the other kids as a kid? Like for me I was much better than the other kids when I was a kid and then in high school like the kids that got good just took off and I just never got better. But as a little kid I was much better than everyone else in a lot of things.
Eric Decker
I would say yes and my neighbor who was my best friend growing up we were like super competitive and so he was always a little bit taller a little bit bigger cuz it took me a while to to grow and we you know in football and basketball every sport we played it was always like all right we have to be on separate teams
And so
You know I think it's more of the competitive spirit we both had like I'm not going to lose and so I remember playing T-ball when I was like six and this is a memory I have but I was I'm left-handed but I would he would run over to right field and then switch to right hand quick and I'd swing it away from him cuz he was by far a better athlete than anyone else on the field and so I would say yeah I mean up up until you know maturity happens I was you know far above most of the guys in my town.
Ken Rideout
And you have siblings?
Eric Decker
I have an older sister and two step brothers. Yeah. My sister was also a motivational factor for me. She's a couple years older. Uh great athlete. She went to Columbia University and did the track and cross country.
Ken Rideout
Holy super smart.
Eric Decker
Yeah, and smart.
Ken Rideout
So she ran at Columbia?
Eric Decker
She ran at Columbia.
Ken Rideout
Awesome. I didn't know that.
Eric Decker
Yeah, and she now she works with American Express. Um but she was always a good athlete, good student, yeah, kind of all around. And so being only a couple years younger, I hung out with her friends and her her group a lot. And so that was, you know, as a young athlete, you always want to play with someone older.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Getting beat up is the best way to learn.
Ken Rideout
Was it the kind of relationship you have with your kids where you're like encouraging or was it more like, "What are you doing out there?"
Eric Decker
So my mom was super encouraging. And obviously, you know, we kind of hung the moon with her. Um and really she was great in the sense of sacrificing to to take us places. My parents got split and got divorced when I was in second grade.
Ken Rideout
I didn't know that.
Eric Decker
You know, that was a kind of a a big moment, I guess, in in my development. Um and things like
Ken Rideout
Were you?
Eric Decker
I was eight.
Ken Rideout
Oh, that's like
Eric Decker
And I was just, you know, we were having a conversation with with some friends this past week actually cuz my son, my third child, Forest, just turned eight. And like it it brought these feelings up cuz I was that age my parents got divorced. I get this like almost this angst when I think about like that time frame. And I'm just like, man, I I don't want them to like experience or feel what that that's like cuz, you know, it can be super confusing for a child, especially if it's not you know, it can never really be explained to you, but if you don't know how to process it or have someone to to kind of like walk you through life, you just everyone deals with it differently.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
But my parents were were supportive. My dad was super critical. And I think that
Ken Rideout
Critical, right.
Eric Decker
Was always a driving factor again. Well, I need to please my dad. I want to show him how how good I am. And it was like I could score 25 points and have a triple-double in basketball, but it's like, "Oh, he missed that free throw. He missed that, you know." It was like, "Okay, well, all right, we'll go back to the gym and I'm going to I'm going to work harder." And that was a mentality, I guess, I had. And my mom, obviously, was always super supportive.
Ken Rideout
Would she defend your dad or was she like trash him? Like, "Well, he's an for doing that. He shouldn't talk to you." Like, was she super protective of you or just kind of like go with the flow?
Eric Decker
Go with the flow. I mean, there there wasn't again I don't think as a child I learned how to deal with conflict because conflict was usually just brushed under the under the rug. And that's like, you know, again, just generational, probably learned habits with how they grew up and and you just, you know, the life they they lived when they're younger. So, again, yeah, criticism didn't deal with well, didn't know how to deal with conflict, didn't know how to
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Work through it. And so, that was something that as an adult and really being married to Jess that I learned to like argue. I learned to like stand my ground and like, you know, stand up for myself in a sense. And so, that was something again that I dealt with as a young individual, as a young man, from the lack of as a kid.
Ken Rideout
The reason I wanted to talk about this specifically is for the other dads out there, including you and you and I. Like, we have kids that are in that are that same age, like 10 to 14 years old. My son's on my daughter's 15 playing high school lacrosse. And one thing that I realized for the longest time I'd tell myself like, "Oh, no, I'm great at the sports. I don't I don't criticize. I but I do preach effort." Cuz I always say, "All of us can sit here right now not know anything about a particular sport, but we can all look and go like, 'Oh, that kid number 12, he's a savage.
Look how hard he's trying.'"
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
And that's free for everyone. Anyone can be that person. It's just a matter of going out there and really caring and going hard. But, even though I'm not coaching and trying to be critical especially even for yourself as well. Like when you have accomplishments as an athlete and an adult yourself, the kids naturally feel this need to be like to for validation from you. So it's like even if something is minor like any good thing happens that I feel like if I don't mention it or I, you know, focus on something negative versus positive even in the postgame conversation, it's hurtful to them unintentionally and I think that that's what a lot of dads miss is that while you may not be critical the way like the stereotypical critical dad is, kids are like sponges.
They pick up on every single thing and when you talk about core memories as a child, the reason that we all have those is because if you're a sponge and you haven't experienced um getting your heartbroken, the first time it happens, you're never going to forget it. The 10th time, you could be like, oh yeah, you know, it's like when you're 50, one year is such a small percentage. When you're 10, one year is 10% of your entire life. So it feels like all of these things that are happening are like going to be core memories for them and it's I don't know about you, but I feel tremendous pressure where I'm like, please God, don't let me do anything wrong at this game today.
I want to be super supportive, but I don't want them to be like, Dad, get out of here. I don't want you cheering for me.
Eric Decker
Yep. I think I've kind of taken that approach. I mean, just being present, I think is the most important thing. I mean, kids for the most part, they'll look in the stands and who are they looking for? Their dad or their mom. You know, they want them they want us just to be there. And and you know, I think having the experience of sports, I I've tried to like be the coach dad and it just hasn't worked. Every kid's different, too, right? Like my second, his personality is like, don't tell me anything.
And it's like I have to feed information through the coach or like, you know, and he's gotten better as he's gotten older at or at home and we can talk through stuff. But but to your point, I agree. I think, you know, just staying on the positive stuff. Like, "Hey, you did really well at X, Y, and Z." And I think, like you said, effort and attitude, you don't need skill, you don't need talent for that. That's like, either you love it or you don't and you're going to give it or you're not.
And like, that's that's what I want to to to preach or to to give praise on because like, that that that's all you can control. If you get three hits in a game, if you get zero hits in the game, that's just part of baseball. Like, we just go with the flow. And so, uh my approach is, yes, I think cuz I've had the the criticism, which again is a driving factor, but at the same point it can be maybe toxic. So, it's like, "Hey, I think you did great at these three things.
And maybe, you know, we can work on on this thing, you know? Otherwise, just proud of you." And I think that's all a kid wants to hear is that they're they're they're loved and they're validated because you're proud of them and you're present with them.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. I it to me, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do is like, only because I so desperately don't want to make mistakes. Like, I want to be so good at like, winning a race. Like, I want to win at this tatting thing more than anything. But, you also have like, a superstar athlete in your daughter is like, an elite gymnast, right?
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
How's that?
Eric Decker
It's
Ken Rideout
Looks like it'll be fun. I love gymnastics.
Eric Decker
A different world. I love it. I mean, you talk about like, to be a great athlete, you have to have that it factor. And for me, that it factor is you're fearless, you're like, hyper-competitive without someone having to push you, you're internally motivated. And like, my daughter has that. And so, it's fun to to see her blossom and grow, especially in a sport that I don't know. So, I can't be
Ken Rideout
Can't be coaching in something you don't know.
Eric Decker
You can't be critical cuz I don't really know much about it. And so, it's just I just see the effort, I see the growth, I see uh the the reward of it through competitions and that's just it's just a lot of fun. I think she kind of sets the table for how hard she works for my boys as well. But, I think the best thing I love about her is that she can do these things at a high level, but just it's kind of the person she is.
And I think she's naturally a leader amongst her her friends and her teammates, and that's the most thing I'm I'm proud of because again, that's something you can't necessarily always coach or teach. It's like you going to be a good person. I mean, you have that choice to be a good person or not, but she obviously is naturally um you know, a very good leader in that sense.
Ken Rideout
She's one of the nicest kids I know. Typically, I tend to not like most of my friends' kids. If I can they don't behave, I just And I And I would say the same thing for my kids. Like I always tell people, "Hey, can you Are we bringing kids?" I'm like, "Buddy, no one likes your kids except you." And I'm like, "No one likes my kids except me, and even that's debatable sometimes, especially when they're at that age of like 10 to 14 where you're like they're big enough to be like a wrecking ball, but still young enough to not have the maturity to know like, 'No, no, don't all of you jump on the swing at the same time.
That's why it just broke off the swing set.'" Um But no, your your daughter is like got the nicest personality. She's always so incredibly kind to my daughter Tinsae, and she loves your daughter. The amount of times that my daughter says to me, "Dad, when are we going to see the Deckers again? When are we going to see the Deckers again?" I said, "Tinsae, you I'll just call them. You want to go over there? You're going to have a driver's license in 6 months. I'm sure they'll let you come and hang."
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
And she's like, but she loves Jess, and Jess and your daughter are always so incredibly kind to her. So, I think it just speaks to what kind of parents that you guys are. And I My little guy has a little bit of that. He's like really nice kid. If anything, I'm like behind him telling him be more aggressive. So, he's trying to like trying to tick all the boxes, but I love seeing kids like your daughter who are excelling at the sport. I saw her doing a a rope climbing contest against former Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson.
And that's one thing that I think I feel not jealous of our kids, but I'm happy for our kids that I didn't have like
Yeah. mean, the coaches on your flag football team were like you, Matt Cassel, like all NFL players in the fact that our children know the kind of athletes that we hang out with is like that's what so far into me as a kid. If I met someone who played in the NFL when I was a kid, I would have like a nervous breakdown. It they was it was like they were aliens to me, but I they were my heroes. But now our children see not only are these people normal, that can be you.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Like you can have that. All you have to do is work tirelessly and it might happen.
Eric Decker
Might be too normal for them, right?
Ken Rideout
I know, that's true. One day they said to me, "Dad, can you um can you" a couple years ago when we were living in California, a couple of my friends that were world champion fighters had come over, brought their belts, were showing it to the kids, you know, these big title belts. And one day my dad my my oldest son says to me, probably was 10, "Dad, can you see if all LeBron James can come by the house?" And I'm like, "I don't know LeBron James." They're like, "Yeah, but you know so-and-so and he just came over." And I'm like, "I know one, but I don't know everybody."
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
But the fact that that would be like a normal question for them. You know who I've been texting with? Joe Mazzulla, coach of the Celtics. Someone connected me and he like
Eric Decker
He's a great dude.
Ken Rideout
Dude, the nicest guy. I'm praying to God that they'll let me come and speak to the team as they get ready for the playoff push, but so surreal.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Cuz like my kids are obsessed with the Celtics. I'm like, "Guys, you never going to believe this. Look who sent me a text." It's like my greatest achievement as a dad is letting my kids see the the some of the friends.
Eric Decker
The relationships you have, yeah.
Ken Rideout
You were saying you went to a camp.
Eric Decker
Yeah, so small town kid really didn't want to go to summer camps cuz I enjoyed my summers on the lakes.
Ken Rideout
That's also intimidating for a kid who doesn't have experience going to sleep away to be like, "See you. Go to like I mean I remember going to camp." Famous story in my book, I was scared. I was like, "Damn, I feel like I'm going to jail."
Eric Decker
Yeah, so I got invited to this one-day camp. I was like, "All right, I'll go to one one day." And uh so I I drove down as a junior. Yes, junior to to University of Minnesota. And at this point, I'm thinking I'm going to go to a small school not far from my hometown because it's just as easy. It was easy, close to family, I knew it, it felt comfortable.
Ken Rideout
For you.
Eric Decker
Yes, I could control the situation, right? And so go to this one-day camp, I excel throughout the day and all of a sudden this offensive line coach says, "Hey, you need to go up to the head coach's office. He wants to talk to you, Coach Mason." And so I'm like, "Okay." No idea what
Ken Rideout
And what school is this?
Eric Decker
This is University of Minnesota.
Ken Rideout
And the And the coach from the University of Minnesota, the head football coach of the college team sees you at this camp and okay.
Eric Decker
That's right. So yeah, they they kind of obviously are evaluating the high school talent and uh I go to his office and he goes, "Hey, you've done a great job today. Really impressed with what you know, what your skill is and and and how well you went through the drills and we'd like to offer you a scholarship." I'm like,
Ken Rideout
Without ever seeing you play a football game.
Eric Decker
Without seeing a game without seeing a game. I'm sure they probably have some film where they were watching film up to that point, I would assume, but uh I was still younger, I guess at that time before NIL. And uh that was that was it. I was like, "I'll take it." He's like, "Well, you go home and talk to your parents about it and you know, we'll follow up." I'm like, "No, you understand like I'll you give me a scholarship, I'm going to take it. That's it.
Let's sign the contract." And I mean that that again is just a core memory for me cuz it really impacted, I think, the the direction of my life.
Ken Rideout
Had you even contemplated that you could play college football?
Eric Decker
Yeah, but not at that level. I mean, I I knew I was a good high school athlete, but you know, I I don't think I understood perspective of of what what level. And so that's why again, the comfort was, "Well, let's go excel at a Division III school. I'll play multiple sports and you know, I know I'll do well."
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And you know, to get that chance and you know, that allowed me to have these experiences like my freshman year, I redshirted and I just got the knocked out of me at practice. It was just guys were so much bigger and stronger and faster. I'm like, "I don't know if I could do this. I really don't know if I'm fit for this." And we make it to the off-season, 5:00 a.m. workouts and imagine being in Minnesota on a January morning. It's -10 with a wind chill of -20.
And campus is pretty big, so I had my moped on campus, but I put brought my snowmobile gear on, big jacket, helmet and I'm driving at 4:30 to the facility and just like have this thought like, "What am I doing? Do I really want to do this? Like this is not fun. I'm I'm like struggling with it." And uh you You I said, "You know what? I'm just going to get to the next day." And that was like a defining moment for me as well in my football career because I could have easily stepped away and then left and went somewhere and and gave up in a sense, but I said, "You know what?
I'm going to I'm going to make it one more day cuz I don't want to fail."
Ken Rideout
It's like a Navy SEAL mentality. Quit tomorrow.
Eric Decker
Quit tomorrow. And man, I just I just kept stacking the days and then, you know, I got to my redshirt freshman year and I started playing and things started to fall in place, but just like those struggles and those hardships really define the character, you know, of an individual.
Ken Rideout
What was your 40 time in college? Like what or just through college, what was your best time? What would you run at the combine?
Eric Decker
So, I was injured at the combine, never ran. I really never ran a 40. I would say probably I'm four-five guy.
Ken Rideout
Oh, okay. So, you weren't like you didn't have like burner speed where you're like, but what would you say you had as an advantage? Like a Wes Welker type, you could just cut, you knew the routes, you know how to get open, you had good hands, all the above?
Eric Decker
I think it was deceptional speed. I think um you know, I probably got behind people cuz they didn't think I I was as fast as maybe as I was, but I was a good route runner. I was very, you know, regimented on running routes, being in the right spot, quarterback friendly, as they say. I could play multiple positions. So, for me, you know, the advantage was like I want to I want to play everything cuz if I can be, you know, kind of the utility player and and fill in at slot receiver or outside receiver or be kind of, you know, a tight end version of a receiver, I'm I'm going to do it.
And so, I was reliable, I was consistent. Those were kind of things that I that I leaned on and then, like I said, quarterback friendly, being in the right spot.
Ken Rideout
Yeah, but it's funny because I would cuz my kids don't have a lot of speed, but I'm like, do you understand the importance of number one, knowing the plays and knowing what is the quarterback trying to accomplish? Cuz like for people that don't know or haven't played at a high level of football, it's so much more complex than people think. The quarterback has like 25 different reads he's making and it's all happening in the split in the in the blink of an eye. But for the receiver to run the routes and get to the spot and and have the instincts to be like find the soft spot.
You're running through a zone. Don't just keep running through to the next defender. Like recognize
Eric Decker
Yep.
Ken Rideout
With the quarterback and like I think of a guys like Wes Welker, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola. Those guys that don't have these like incredible gifts like a A.J. Brown.
Eric Decker
Right.
Ken Rideout
But they will do everything right. It's like Brady.
Eric Decker
Yep.
Ken Rideout
He was never going to wow anyone with athleticism, but you give him the ball and like a minute on the clock, he knows the defense, he knows what offensive play, he knows where everyone's supposed to be. Those intangibles are so incredibly valuable.
Eric Decker
And they really separate, you know, at at the highest level like you said because it's one mistake and you know, you get behind the chains and these guys and everyone's athletic at that at that level.
But yeah, it's it's it's important as a skill player to be on on the quarterback's side, so finding the zones, understanding defenses and reads and you know, if you can play that game. I always watched Hines Ward and Chris Carter and some of these great, you know, kind of third down receivers, I guess, that just they would work in these spaces and they were never overly fast, but I mean they had 100 catches a season just because you could rely on them. They knew where to be, they had great hands and and they would move the ball.
Ken Rideout
So at what point do you tell him like I want to play, but I want to play baseball as well? And football baseball's kind of like a popular combination for two sport athletes.
Eric Decker
Yeah, cuz they're I mean
Ken Rideout
You're not going to play football and basketball or it's going to be very difficult.
Eric Decker
It will be because the seasons cross over.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
I really, you know, I I saw I played my red shirt freshman year, red shirt sophomore year, we're a bowl game. We're beating Texas Tech 31 to 3 at halftime. Thought the game's over, ready to go celebrate for New Year's. But they come back, they beat us and he gets canned that like right after the game. And so that was kind of my opportunity to like slide into the the baseball organization. So as we got
Ken Rideout
You didn't play your freshman and sophomore year.
Eric Decker
Nope.
Ken Rideout
Which is even crazier that you could play Division 1 baseball after taking a 2-year off.
Eric Decker
I know. Well, I had to play in my redshirt sophomore year cuz I went and tried out after the football season. Like yeah, come on. And then, you know, found myself in a in a starting role right away, which now that you say that is, you know, is crazy. I didn't play any baseball since my senior high school and found a way, but I just I just love baseball.
Ken Rideout
Too, you're not faking your way through. Like getting the box against some guy throwing like 95 with crazy movement. It's like, holy this is different than the like batting machine I was clowning around at over the summer.
Eric Decker
Yeah, and you know, that was my first experience in baseball. We went down to Ole Miss and played uh SEC baseball and dude, this guy was a lefty and he threw the slider. First pitch I ever saw in college baseball, slider like 85 mph. I stepped out of the box and it was a strike. I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to embarrass myself. But I got a lot better after that. You're right there. I mean, that's something where you can't just pick it up at, you know, I just worked my ass off.
Ken Rideout
But again, that highlights, not to keep blowing smoke up your ass, but it highlights what an insane athlete you are cuz even like I said, with pickleball, I'm like, Jesus Christ, I like I'm athletic. How is this happening? But um so your freshman your freshman year, your redshirt sophomore year, coach gets fired, and then is it your junior year where you play you that year you play both football and baseball? And when do you have like some start to have some breakout football experiences?
Eric Decker
I would say that my second year, so redshirt sophomore year, is when I kind of identified I could play, you know, Division 1 Big Ten football. And then my junior year was probably like, okay, well, if I can have success versus these guys, uh Ohio States and the Michigans, Wisconsins, I think I could play the next level. And so that's kind of when I be you know, the reality of my dream or my dream became a reality for me was was that kind of junior
Ken Rideout
But you remember in college like a game in particular where you like all of a sudden it's like people now everyone knows you like you have catches here and there but was there one game where you were like just went off to or one catch or there must have been a tipping point where you became like holy this guy Eric Decker is a great receiver for Minnesota.
Eric Decker
Uh I mean I think I had some some flashes of moments for sure my freshman sophomore year I think probably my junior year is kind of just was a lot more dominant and then you know playing projected first second round DBs and having success and I think you know that there was no particular moment that was like oh put this guy on the map I think it was like okay or he's he's he's a consistently you know productive receiver I think we got to watch out for him and that was like kind of the third year.
Ken Rideout
Who was the quarterback your junior and senior year?
Eric Decker
So Adam Weber local Minnesota guy was my quarterback for my four years so he came in and started right away. Yeah so when I redshirted he came in the next year and was was the quarterback for four years with me.
Ken Rideout
How was the squad when you were there? Did you guys win anything?
Eric Decker
We were pretty average the one year we actually were like one and 10 awful.
Ken Rideout
Oh my god.
Eric Decker
Awful it was it was the hardest year but no I mean we were kind of middle of the road seven wins for the most most part.
Ken Rideout
So you went to bowl games?
Eric Decker
Went to bowl games every year lost every bowl game I played in.
Ah.
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Damn.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
So going through at what point in your in your playing baseball too and how's that going is that just like you just having fun or there was there ever any intention like maybe I could be a professional baseball player cuz you definitely could have it's just like did that ever cross your mind?
Eric Decker
I I got drafted twice in baseball but I went through the draft process and I think the realization for me was a the money up front wasn't going to be the same as football and b the scheduling lifestyle just didn't fit to what I wanted it was just it's it's such a grind and and for me probably being stuck in the minor leagues for an extended period of time like that is nothing I wanted to do cuz I've had friends that were doing it at that at that moment, and that's a hard life.
That's That's That's too tough.
Ken Rideout
I think it's hard even if you're in MLB. Think about how many games those guys play, like five or six games a week for months. Like your brother-in-law, Anthony Bass, was a pitcher with uh I mean, a million teams, but like that just doesn't seem Bryce Harper lives around the corner from us over here, and I was talking to his trainer, he's a friend of mine, and we've done some like work with them um if with my agency, and I was like, I feel like he just got home, and I'm like, "Yo, is Bryce around this week?" He's like, "Dude, he's already back in camp like a month ago." I'm like, "He's already gone?
He was here for like 3 days." It's crazy how demanding that life is.
Eric Decker
I mean, 162 games. I mean
You You get no time off.
Ken Rideout
No, and you're playing in the middle of the summer in like outdoors in like you know, Houston, just how hot that would be. So, coming into the senior year, are you projected to be a draft pick?
Eric Decker
Yeah, I was. Um coming into my senior year, you know, I don't know what round I was necessarily projected at, but I I know I was in the top five receiver category. Um and then we had a game at Ohio State kind of middle of the year, it was October. And uh I just made a cut on the sideline, and boom, like college career done. I had a Lisfranc sprain. So
Lisfranc sprain is basically a dislocation and a tear of the ligaments in your midfoot, kind of right above your arch.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
I don't know what bone it is, but you know, where your
Ken Rideout
So, the bones in your foot broke and it pulled the ligaments in your foot.
Eric Decker
So, the the bone didn't break, but the bone dislocated.
Ken Rideout
Sorry.
Eric Decker
And it tore the ligaments, and so I had to go in and put a plate on top and then two screws oh through my tarsals to kind of like, you know, reattach the ligaments.
Ken Rideout
It sounds painful. Was it?
Eric Decker
Oh, it was It was the most awful surgery I've ever had, and don't wish that upon anyone. Um and that again was a defining moment for me cuz it was You know, I think the the silver lining though is I was I was burnt out. I was burnt out from two full seasons of multiple sports. Yeah. Projecting that after this football season, I'm going to write into training for the NFL combine. And I'm like I never gave myself a a mental break, a physical break. Like I I just I need a break.
And like it was like God telling me, "Here's your break. Boom. You're out for 6 months, 9 months really." It tested my fortitude because uh I had the surgery in November. And in Minnesota, you can get snow in in November. And so it's snowy, it's icy. I'm on crutches going to the facility to start kind of my rehab process. And I'm slipping all over the road. I'm like I'm like, you know, it's the selfish question, "Why me? Why Why Why now?" And um man, it just really put me on this track at that point of like just again, day-to-day.
Like just get to the next day. Get to the next day. And um you know, I I got drafted that year. And I did everything in terms of pro day, combine, but couldn't do anything physical. It was all like the the interviews, the testing.
Ken Rideout
The interviews like?
Eric Decker
Uh they're they're fine. I mean, it was it was it wasn't like crazy for me. I think a lot of it was getting to know my background, my
Ken Rideout
Just like a honest conversation. No like trick questions or anything.
Eric Decker
No no I had no trick questions. And then sometimes it'd be, you know, talk X's and O's with uh you know, offensive coordinator. Um but I I had interest from a lot of teams I felt like. And everyone was like, "Hey, we really like you. You know, probably call you maybe day two." Which is like second, third round at that point.
Ken Rideout
One quick thing for people that don't know. Every year there's a draft. And some players get drafted, but a lot of teams go get invited to camp and they're undrafted free agent. And they still make the team and some become all-pros, they become superstars. But the point is to get drafted. Even a late round draft pick still like miles ahead of what all these undrafted free agent like getting drafted is a big deal even if it's not the first round. So just a footnote there. So when you say that they're still projecting you as a draft pick that's still awesome.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Cuz everyone who doesn't get drafted will still get invited to the camp. They'll just be like you know a little bit further down the pecking order but once the cleats and helmets go on they don't give a if you were the highest paid player on the team or undrafted free agent. Like these people are getting paid to win.
Eric Decker
That's it.
Ken Rideout
You know so I mean obviously they want their draft picks to do well so they don't look silly but they're going to give everyone a chance.
Eric Decker
Yeah my first So when I got drafted to Denver
Ken Rideout
Well hold on go back to the draft. Sorry I didn't mean to jump ahead. So you're projected you're doing your thing you do the interviews they're telling you we're going to pick you then what happens?
Eric Decker
I continue my rehab at that point cuz I'm still recovering from my my foot injury and um I'm sitting on draft day at home in Cold Spring and I had a 100 friends and family members over at the house and
Ken Rideout
Are there cameras there or is it just
Eric Decker
No cameras just obviously intimate experience with with my family um and friends.
Ken Rideout
One more one other quick question I'm sorry to be a pain in the ass. Throughout all this stuff as you have in the success in college and you're on a scholarship at Minnesota are you getting any validation from your dad are you guys close? What's his kind of response to all this?
Eric Decker
Yeah I mean my parents were super supportive in the sense that they showed up for for every game and and about every road game as well. They traveled to to all of the road games and then I started playing baseball same thing. I mean it
Ken Rideout
Oh okay.
Eric Decker
And now it's a commitment as I look at it like a three-day weekend of baseball. I mean they got to find somewhere to stay for a couple nights and you know it's just
Ken Rideout
And they're divorced so they're not traveling together.
Eric Decker
And and and they were cordial enough sometimes they travel together usually usually separate but you know they it it never was was hard for me to you know go and and be with both at the same time which was super grateful for that. Um but yeah no they were they're always supportive and that's what I'm, you know, grateful for is that they were present there and that's that's all you can ask for.
Ken Rideout
So, on draft day are they there like, "Yes, Eric, this is happening. Like, we're doing this."
Eric Decker
Yeah, they're they're they're so everyone's excited and and so day two is like I said second and third round and so I kind of have the teams in mind. There's there's probably 10 teams that like have interest and then boom, you know, day one a couple receivers went, day two second round boom these teams are picking receivers and I'm like oh like I'm not going to get picked. Like, every team that I thought I was going to go to I'm I'm not because
Ken Rideout
And they're drafting guys that you think you're better than.
Eric Decker
Yeah, I mean my my my my my my mind doesn't even go there cuz I just I'm not like competitive that way with someone else. I'm just like more hopeful that it was going to happen for myself more than like, "Oh, that guy sucks. I'm better than him."
Ken Rideout
That's That's again very on brand for you. I couldn't imagine you doing that either.
Eric Decker
So, I guess down to like the the end of the day which is like the end of the third round and I'm like, "God, I'll just send people home because I'm I'm like not embarrassed but just exhausted and I've taken a walk down my my parents to my mom's house street and I'm just like pacing like, "What what do I do?"
Ken Rideout
Sounds a lot like Brady's story.
Eric Decker
And it it's probably parallels to it and so all of a sudden I come back, I sit in the back patio. I remember where I'm at with uh one of my best buddies, Mike Purcell and boom, phone rings. It's a Colorado number and I'm like, "Hello?" "Hey, coach McDaniels. Uh just want to let you know we're getting you with the 87th pick blah blah blah." And I was just like you know, just this sigh of relief came over before even excitement. It was just like, "Thank God, like this is over." Cuz the whole the whole process is such a build-up.
You're like, "I just want to play football. I just want to like get an opportunity to go play football."
Ken Rideout
Get all this done and let me get my cleats on.
Eric Decker
Yeah, and so man, we I I went upstairs and told everyone uproar watching on TV. Actually, I think they panned over something else. I didn't even get like My name didn't come up because it was They were talking about some breaking news. And so, I was just I was just a little ticker in the bottom, which, you know, again is I feel like it's part of my story. But just an incredible experience being there with, like I said, my closest friends and family.
Ken Rideout
It's funny when you just said and then they go, "Hey, we're going to take you with the next pick." I got like goosebumps myself thinking like, I don't know. I'm like a sports-obsessed lunatic, but when I hear about someone's dream coming true, it just like it does something to me where I'm like there's a part of me like wants to give someone a hug and another part that's like, "Fuck yeah, we're going to kill everyone doing this. Let's go."
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
So, it's like a weird
Eric Decker
What I appreciate That's what I appreciate about you and I feel like the the people I like attracted to are those of that personality. You have this like My wife's this way, but this strong personality of like like you're all in, you're a loyal, you're like hardcore. I need that. It pulls you out of me. I just I just I love it cuz it speaks volumes just of your passion and like I said, just your dedication.
Ken Rideout
No, that's it. I definitely feel passionate about seeing people achieve their dreams. It just so happens that I can really relate to sports and athletics, but man getting drafted and and again, there's a lot of work that's coming that comes along with it, but I was telling Kaylin Bristowe the other day that I have cuz she was on Broadway and I was a huge as she described a theater geek. So, she was into it. So, I was like, I've had this reoccurring dream from my earliest childhood memory where I'm playing for the Boston Bruins and I'm skating out onto the ice in the warm-ups.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
And I'm just like I'm I'm floating. I'm just like I'm I'm here. I'm on the Bruins. And it's so vivid and it's like the best dream that the reoccurring best reoccurring dream I've had. But then I wake up and I'm like, "What the I'm not on the Bruins. I didn't even play. I just had I was just on the team. I just made it to the like to the game. So that's why I get like giddy when I hear about those things even though the real grind is about to start.
So get drafted. What happens next and tell me about the experience of showing up at training camp cuz now you're with like grown men who are getting paid to play and in a lot of cases there ain't nothing nice going on there. It's vicious intensity.
Eric Decker
Men is what it was. Yeah, so I guess that was uh March at that time or maybe April. I think it was early April for the draft and so really I mean it was within weeks I'm flying out to Denver and we're kind of starting our rookie mini camp.
Ken Rideout
What was it like showing up and just getting all the gear? I'm a huge I'm a gear junkie. Just the idea that they're like Wait a minute, I can take more than one pair of shorts that say Broncos? Like I'm sending these to everyone.
Eric Decker
Shorts, hats, yeah, definitely took advantage and they identify who does cuz when you're cheap and frugal you're going to take as much as you can get.
As you guys don't know Eric is very frugal.
Ken Rideout
You won't see him with any diamond pendants unless they're fake.
Eric Decker
Unless they're fake. Yeah, I mean it was so surreal showing up cuz I don't know if I can really recall the day I I walked in but it it's it's the same thing like with any new experience. You get these butterflies and this anticipation and all of a sudden you walk in and it's like faces you see on TV on the sideline and for me at the time it was like Brian Dawkins, Champ Bailey, you know, all these big names that were like man, these guys I've been watching for the last decade just studs.
Ken Rideout
And who was the quarterback then?
Eric Decker
I think it was Tim Tebow. It was Kyle Orton. Kyle Orton was there. We just got Brady Quinn was there as well but they traded Brandon Marshall for Kyle Orton.
Ken Rideout
Okay.
Eric Decker
Uh the year prior so he was there. The reality of your dream coming true was now you're in a business.
Ken Rideout
That's right.
Eric Decker
And it doesn't matter what draft pick you are. And Josh McDaniels was like no one for in training camp cutting someone in the you know, fourth round, fifth round, or cutting cutting three, four people every week to make sure their stars weren't like, you know,
Ken Rideout
Getting lazy.
Eric Decker
Yeah, exactly. It just like uh cruising through like he put the pressure on you, made you feel the heat. And so, that was my first experience was, "Listen, I'm coming in like 80% with this Lizfranc and I'm not necessarily doing anything like drill-wise competitively yet because I'm still trying to heal up." And all of a sudden, this guy right after me gets cut like, "Shit, I might be next." Like, there's no security here. So, like buckle down. That was kind of, again, just like shaking the hay in the grass.
You You did it to like, "All right, well, if you want to You want to be a professional athlete, like you better work for it."
Ken Rideout
Was there ever any like welcome to the NFL moment where good or bad where you like got lit up or like Demaryius crazy like Randy Moss catch on someone?
Eric Decker
Yeah, I said Champ Bailey was was a guy that has been there. He's a Hall of Famer now and uh doing one-on-ones versus versus defensive backs and I'm up against him and I mean, I think he he jammed me all the way into the locker room. I could not get off this jam and he just took me to the sideline and like that was like a, "Hey, welcome to to big boy football." And so, you know, again, like I'm also kind of hurting and recovering from this injury, so I'm not 100%.
It's like I don't know if Again, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm cut out for this. And that was that was really the first first memory and then as I went throughout the the season, I got healthier. There was times where I got him back and was like, "All right, this is this is fun. This is what football's all about."
Ken Rideout
And was he a good like could you guys like kind of acknowledge each other or was he like some guys will don't want to talk They like you talk you speak wrong to them, they'll slap you. Like Weatherford was telling me he was playing with an Islander. I forget Tonga or something. And the guy was like they were running down on a kickoff and, you know, Weatherford thinks they're buddies and he's like, "Come on, you big lazy bitch." The guy was like, "What did you just call me?" And like in prison, some some some like social groups, some ethnicities, they don't play with that word.
And it's like the most insulting thing, which is crazy to me. Like he obviously didn't, but Rex Ryan was the coach and he's like, "Steve, do me a favor, just go home." He was like, literally sent him home. It was like he's crazy. Like he might kill you. And then eventually the dust settled, but were there ever any moments like that where guys were like where you were like you're not a talker.
Eric Decker
I'm not a talker. No, but I've I've seen Well, I was in the locker room when Geno Smith got his jaw busted by a defensive linebacker. And I mean, he just I think the story goes that he got invited Geno Smith got invited to go to a camp and he couldn't he couldn't show up for some reason. The guy got mad.
Ken Rideout
A kids a kids football camp like as a celebrity guest.
Eric Decker
Exactly. He didn't show up and so, you know, you're in the middle of camp and it's already heated and you're tired and frustrated. And so, I don't know what the interaction was, but all of a sudden all I heard was a pop and people kind of corralling around these these two guys and next thing you know, he's got his his mouth wired shut and they bring in Ryan Fitzpatrick and the season changes. I'm like, "What just We're We're teammates. Like We're We're here for the same goal."
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And like that happens.
Ken Rideout
You cannot punch people in the face. I mean, it's just especially when you're like big strong guy. Like you have to recognize like you're going to hurt somebody.
Eric Decker
Yep.
Ken Rideout
So, how did your rookie year go? Did you play at all? Do you remember like when did you score your first touchdown? When was the first in-game like, "Holy I just scored an NFL touchdown."
Eric Decker
Yeah, that rookie year I was like a special teams specialist. I wasn't playing a lot of offense yet. Um but I was on every special teams. And that was a kind of a welcome to the NFL moment for me as well. I'm on punt return. So,
Ken Rideout
You can get your ass lit up on special teams, man.
Eric Decker
Oh, dude. Two stories for you. First game against Jacksonville Jaguars. I'm on I'm on punt I'm the outside guy and they kept their deal
Ken Rideout
On punt coverage?
Eric Decker
Punt coverage.
Ken Rideout
Okay.
Eric Decker
And I'm I'm in the middle on the outside. So, they kept their
Ken Rideout
And keep your head on a swivel.
Eric Decker
You know, they got a 270-lb defensive end who runs a 4.5 on the end just rushing me and just dude, I remember just falling back. And he knocked me on my ass a handful of times. I was like, welcome again to big boy football. I'm on kickoff before they outlawed wedges and changed all those rules and so I'm going down and they got offensive lineman as kind of the the wedge uh as the wedge. So, there's two big 300-pounders running together.
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And I'm the wedge buster. So, I'm running full speed at these, you know, at the 600 lbs. Again, falling on my ass a handful of times. So, that was like, God, what am I doing? But uh that year that year for me was a lot of fun just kind of learning the game, being around, like I said, some of the some of the best football players ever play and I finally got into the offense and mixed towards the end. Scored my first touchdown with Tim Tebow.
Ken Rideout
Oh, nice.
Eric Decker
Um at the I think it was the last game of the year and just like that was uh just nice to check off uh the list, but also to to experience it in front of a home crowd. Like, Denver is one of the best places to play. I love Denver and so that just kind of kick-started, you know, into the next year.
Ken Rideout
It's funny that you said about being relieved when you got drafted and that's again, not to compare my story to yours, but when I won the race in Chicago that was like the age group world championship, I just remember finishing and all I could say Shelby I was talking to Shelby on the cell phone. She's like, oh my god, how happy are you? I'm like, I'm just so relieved that this is over. Like, I wanted this so badly and now it's over. Like, I'll be happy, but right now all I can do is like exhale.
I've been trying to do this for so long and it sucks cuz I want to be happy, but I'm like, why don't I feel more fulfilled? Which is probably why I ended up meeting you at the uh I call the cycle
Eric Decker
I was just about to say that. That's the the thing, too, is when you get to the pinnacle of your of like your career, like that moment doesn't feel any different. It doesn't It's not like a oh, here we are, you know, it's it's it's kind of the end of the rainbow. It's like All right, so
Ken Rideout
Same thing with making money. People think like, "Oh, you. I'll watch how happy I'll be with money." I'm like, "Mhm, dude, that money will change a few stresses and it will relieve some, add some, but you know, you you've made a lot of money. You're still the same person. Guess who comes with you, whether you're rich or poor? You. Like if you don't think that you're going to get comfortable with dealing with your and money is going to mask those problems, you're going to be a bigger with money.
Nothing makes people Nothing amplifies someone someone's behavior, good and bad, like money. And when it's bad, it is not good. No one likes a rich But when you're a really good person and you're rich and you're of service to other people and you have the ability to help other people, you know, it doesn't always have to be about money, but like that that kind of experience of being of service to others when you when you can really make a difference to someone is incredible.
Eric Decker
Oh, man. I think I mean, here the head cuz this it's it's that realization for me. Like I I I've made it to Super Bowl. We didn't win the Super Bowl, but making it to like the pinnacle of my career, which is the Super Bowl, I I think now it's like obviously, it's a dream and I'm chasing something and I think I needed to enjoy the process more than the result. And that And that's the problem with a lot of competitors is like All right, what's next?
All right, what's next? And you just trying to stack and trying to get to the top, but but the top can be lonely. It's It's not always fulfilling. It's But it's that kind of like that that building process, you know, that time between, you know, point A and point B is like that's where the the real like love is, you know.
Ken Rideout
That's where you live.
Eric Decker
Exactly.
Ken Rideout
That's all the time is spent there.
Eric Decker
Forever to learn that, to like just appreciate the good times, the bad times, the you know, the the relationships I made, but it's it's the connections, it's the community within that that now I I just I just love and you know, thrive to be in because that is what life is. And uh it's just such a good perspective.
Ken Rideout
You're on the journey the whole time. The the the the win is it's over. And to that end what I would say is like what you were saying is like you have to learn to thrive and enjoy that. The problem is for people like you, it's like a blessing and a curse. You want to be the best at something and then you eventually become the best, but it comes with the curse of being so driven and so like dialed in on this one goal that you miss some of the other stuff, but I don't know if you can have one without the other.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
Like you want to win like this, you got to be an obsessed lunatic. Like everyone you know who's wildly successful, for the most part, is crazy. Like Tom Brady is a little bit crazy. Uh Bezos, crazy. Zuckerberg, like you can say that about anyone. The point is trying to find the right balance of like people will say to me, "Oh, you're addicted to running." I'm like, "Oh, yeah, okay. I well, I mean, I was addicted to drugs and contemplating suicide. Now I'm like addicted to running and I have a book out that's a best-seller.
Like I'm trying to find the like lesser of two evils."
Eric Decker
Well, a lot healthier, I would say of the
Ken Rideout
But I don't profess to have That's the key is like I don't have the profess to have the answers. My book isn't a how-to. My book is like, "Here are some of the things that happened, a lot of the mistakes that I made. Here's how I fixed them without beating you over the head with like, 'Do what I say.'" No, here's an example of what I did. Everyone You have to find your own Everyone's journey is is unique and specific to your point. And it's like you're going to spend all of the time on the journey.
The destination is going to come and go. And then if you don't have a game plan for the next destination, meaning like how are you going to enjoy the time between A and B? Cuz A and B is over before you even know it.
Eric Decker
Yep. That's such a lesson. I mean, I I think, you know, with maturity, with experience, you identify that, but as you're in it, I think it's just a good message yeah, that it's like listen, like be present, enjoy where you're at now, and I think too, it's you've got to be crazy obviously to push yourself to get to, you know, like I said, the pinnacle of whatever that is in your career. But at the same point, you you got to do it with with others. I think it's it's always about, you know, the connection, the community, cuz that's the only thing that makes it fulfilling.
Ken Rideout
Yeah, and you have to remember, if it was easy, every would be doing it. Like you expect the things that you want to be very hard, which is why I called the book what I did. It's like all the things that have been important to you, including marriage, parenting, those things are hard. And you know, you hope that you have some like that you can enjoy the struggle as well, but it's like you know, there's an a Bible verse that says something like we rejoice in the suffering because suffering leads to endurance, which produces character, which gives hope to ourselves and to other men.
And Steve Weatherford told me that one, but um it's the truth. Like suffering, like without suffering, you don't really learn much, and you don't really get to grow. It's even with school. If you don't suffer by studying when you don't want to study, like how are you going to expect to like learn engineering or whatever it is you're into? So, how long How many seasons did you play before you got to the Super Bowl?
Eric Decker
Uh it was my fourth year we made
Ken Rideout
So, fourth year, who was the quarterback?
Eric Decker
Peyton Manning.
Ken Rideout
So, Peyton comes in. What was that like when he comes in?
Eric Decker
Yeah, I I don't I don't know. We won because of the year prior, Tim Tebow stepped in as the starting quarterback, and it was a miraculous year. I mean, there was games we won that we shouldn't have. There's probably eight games we won in the last like 5 minutes or in overtime.
Yeah, and there's a book written on it. But Tim just somehow willed his way to to a lot of wins, and we we won a playoff game, and then ended up losing to the Patriots that year, but then, you know, you flip the script, all of a sudden, they release him or trade him to New England. Peyton Manning comes in, you know, the the best quarterback or one of the best quarterbacks at the time. And I mean, for me it was just a career changer cuz this guy was a legitimate passing quarterback and I I loved to catch the ball.
And so you know, what I love about Peyton is that he was just a boy's boy. He was just a man of of men. And he was really great with relationships. He built relationships, spent a lot of time with with his teammates. Uh but then when he was on the field, he was the general. That's why he had the nickname. He was he was an He directed traffic. He'd call you out if you didn't know your assignment. And that's why we were successful cuz he was able to build this trust that you you wanted to play for the guy, but at the same point he kept the expectations at the top tippity top.
And so I had a couple good years with him in Denver. I know they ended up win winning the Super Bowl in 2015, but uh just a tremendous experience being around someone like that who's one of the greats to ever play.
Ken Rideout
What would you say the biggest difference was with him and let's say like Tebow or any quarterback? What was Was there one glaring thing like he was better prepared, he had a better arm, or everything?
Eric Decker
Not better arm, no chance. But cuz he was at the end of his career, that's why the Colts released him. Cuz he he couldn't throw a football. He literally couldn't throw a football 5 yd at that time. Um but it was just the preparation. Yeah, he just he just knew exactly what to do, where to be. And you know, we had the guys that bought in to this system. Demaryius Thomas, one of the best receivers at the time. Wes Welker was there and Brandon Stokley, both slot guys.
Uh good couple of running backs and tight ends. But we would just do we were firing on all cylinders because we we wanted to do what he said. And so he was able to to uh direct traffic, put us in the right spots. And I think just like preparation was was the difference.
Ken Rideout
Who'd you play in the Super Bowl?
Eric Decker
The Seahawks.
Ken Rideout
And you lost in the Super Bowl to the Seahawks. I I didn't realize the Seahawks had won a Super Bowl prior to this most recent year. Was that with Marshawn Lynch?
Eric Decker
Yep.
Ken Rideout
So, tell me what was Super Bowl week like? What was the game like? Even though you got crushed, like what was it like what you expected?
Eric Decker
It was It was overwhelming, to be honest, because it was in New York, and so everything's spread out for that for that sense. We stayed um in New Jersey, practiced in New Jersey. Just, you know, all the media that came with it, some of the events you had to do. It just was like, you know, I just want to play football. But, at the same point, it was an amazing experience to be like at that level, two teams left playing for, you know, your dream to be a Super Bowl champion.
Uh I remember walking in the stadium, it just felt different, you know, it just still football, but it felt different. Everything was just elevated from the aesthetics, from you know, the the lead-up of media, and just the fireworks, the halftime show. I mean, it was just it was a show.
Ken Rideout
Who was the halftime performer?
Eric Decker
Bruno Mars.
Ken Rideout
Okay. Yeah, he's good.
Eric Decker
Yeah, he's great. And then, boom, the game happened, and the first play on offense, the center snapped it over Peyton's head, safety.
Ken Rideout
Oh.
Eric Decker
Downhill from there. We just got clobbered.
Ken Rideout
Oh my god. Do you have any catches?
Eric Decker
I think I had one catch. They threw like two passes to me, but that defense I mean, best defense I've I've seen ever.
Ken Rideout
Really? I was just thinking about like how great it would be to have one of those official Super Bowl with the Super Bowl stamp on it that like yep, scoring a touchdown is a game ball.
Eric Decker
Yeah. I I tucked it into the into the storage. Uh but my my boys have found it. My My son
Ken Rideout
Oh, the ball the ball you caught you you kept it.
Eric Decker
Not not that ball, but like the the stamp t-shirts and the gloves and the helmet everything that you know, had Super Bowl tied to it, but it's
Ken Rideout
Oh, that Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's awesome.
Eric Decker
It's fun to see it through a kid's eye again, because for me it's like I'm not really big into the There's There's There's things that are important. Um More so like pictures with teammates and stuff. But like my sons went down they found these bins of stuff and they're like, "Dad, what what are you doing? Let's put this in your office." And I don't want any of that crap in my office.
Ken Rideout
Would be me, too. Like I love memorabilia. I don't I'm not a memorabilia collector, but I can appreciate looking at it and be like, "Oh my god, look at this." My kids would go mental.
Eric Decker
Yeah. So so my son's room is my second one's a big sporty and his whole room has posters all over but he's got like our AFC Championship ring box in there with with the with the ring. He's got, you know, the Super Bowl gloves. Everything kind of like which which like I said, I walk in his room it's it's a good memory of like the childlike version through the lens of a child of of what like I accomplished. You know, more so like, "Okay, I lost the game, frustrated, didn't really catch any balls, you know, just a shitty experience." But for him it's like this is like the most magical thing because when I was that age that was that was the dream for me.
And so
Ken Rideout
Especially to have his dad to have all this stuff. Like I see the way my kids react when They never had do this with me, but I can see the way they act when other people are around like, "Oh yeah, it's my dad. Let me ask my dad if he'll sign a book for you." And I'm like, "It's like a dream come true."
Eric Decker
Cool.
Ken Rideout
But that's awesome. Do you get a Super Bowl ring when you play in the Super Bowl whether you win or lose?
Eric Decker
So if you lose you get your AFC Championship ring. It's you know, that's the the winner's ring and then just the champs usually get their rings.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. When when Weatherford came in he brought that Giants one, but I'm like, "Dude, I can't take a picture with that. Paid to beat the Patriots. Get out of here." What point did you meet Jess in your career?
Eric Decker
So I met Jess actually after my my rookie year. Um
Ken Rideout
Oh wow. So you were like almost in a relationship right from the jump. So you never got to be like this hot shot single pro pro athlete.
Eric Decker
I was I was a relationship
Ken Rideout
Jess got her freaking hooks right into you. It's like, "Oh, she hooked me." New new young guy on the on the scene. Let me get him quick before these other vultures get to him.
Eric Decker
Is, so 2011 was a lockout year. So it's my after my rookie year we go into a lockout. So really we have no off season program. So I'm finally like single with money. Like, oh, this is incredible. So I did I traveled a bunch. I went to you know, well first we did Sundance Film Festival, the X Games, went to Brazil for Carnival.
Ken Rideout
Were you going with?
Eric Decker
Just buddies.
Just buddies, yeah.
And so like I had about 3 month period where I traveled and had like time of my life. And so that time like I'm going to be single forever. Like this is great. And I you know, this is how I'm going to live. And so I'm in Arizona training at this time cuz this is finally time to start like working out. And I'm with, you know, a quarterback buddy who's seen this one girl and and she somehow met Jess
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Like a year ago, 2 years ago. And she said, I think I got the perfect girl for you. And so I'm in Arizona. I'm like, oh, cool, yeah. And end up being Jess. And so she's in Nashville. And we start texting. And just like we communicate from afar. So it's text message, it's iChat maybe at that time, phone calls. And all of a sudden like I'm hooked. We're on the phone for like 2 hours. And I never I hate talking on the phone. But like I'm telling this girl everything.
I'm like, oh my god, what's going on?
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And about a month after we started talking I'm like, I'm going to come to Nashville and see you. I flew out, you know, being frugal again. I was not getting a hotel room. She made me change my She She made me change my flight too, which I was mad. I was like, it's a $200 change for you. Like, but we spent the weekend together, had a amazing time. And then we started seeing each other every weekend after that. Um and 3 months later I asked her to move to Denver.
And so that was I mean like talk about going from wanting to be single for the rest of my career to boom, I'm I'm living with a with a girl who I fell in love with in a month's time.
Ken Rideout
And she at the time was trying to be a singer and trying to make her way. But she was broke too, right? So you were never really broke when you met her, but she was broke.
Eric Decker
Yeah. Yeah, she was.
Ken Rideout
Her telling me she was like that when I met her.
Eric Decker
Uh in Nashville, obviously still doing music, and she kind of was in limbo cuz she was Well, she had a a pop record originally, and then the her roots are country, and so she's kind of in this limbo. She's like, "You know what? I need a break. I need to go to LA and like write in LA, work there, and kind of like figure out what's next."
Ken Rideout
At like Sephora or something?
Eric Decker
Well, I think in Nashville she was to to make some money uh for a while, but I know
She's going to find a job in LA just to kind of help support herself, too. And um that was kind of the transition where I where I got her to move to Denver. But yeah, she we both were like kind of early on in our careers, and yeah, I mean, obviously I had a little bit of money, not much, and and we um just were two young lovebirds, I guess.
Ken Rideout
But it's funny now to see the success you have both had. You have like the most beautiful house. I have My kids always are like, "Dad, can we get a house like the Deckers someday?" I said, "Guys, someday, but I hit the lottery." No, but you have like you guys have like when I see you, you are just uh seemingly the picture of happiness. I love doing things with you. I mean, uh we went to the Bruins and um Predators game. I was like, "Hey, let's go to a hockey game." And you were like, "Yeah, no problem.
I've got us a suite with no problem." I'm like, "Who gave us the suite?" He's like, "Ah, a buddy of mine gave us the whole suite." I'm like, "Jesus, I thought we were going to have to buy like huge expensive tickets, but it's um being here in Nashville is such like a relatively small pond when you think about like New York, LA, and being a good person first and foremost allows you to connect with a lot of interesting people here. And it's been It's fun living here.
I mean, it's great for the I loved living in in Pacific Palisades, Malibu, but this is a good place to raise a family.
Eric Decker
It is. It is. And you know, uh we flirted with like, "What's Florida look like?" or certain different areas, but I always come back to and I grew up in the Midwest, but like this is for me home because it it has a sense of values that community that I relate to and just like you said a good place to raise kids, but also a lot of interesting people that are successful that are driven and and so you have a mix of like you get your entertainment you get your community of of those that are successful in in their careers and things they do, but also they share the same values and how they want to raise their kids and live their life and so it's a perfect blend right now and I'm just grateful to have you know like people like you in my life who you know being a big brother mentor, but also just sharing life together, you know, and I think
That's that's exactly what you want. It's not about hey look what I got. Look what you know, I'm driving. Look at this new you know, fancy watch or chain. It's like Let's let's talk about kids baseball game. Let's talk about like how tough this phase of life can be, you know, like that's that's that's real. That's real life.
Ken Rideout
Well, the other thing is when you have a good friends like that like we were talking about cars earlier. It's like yeah, I I bought a car that I really like. I don't have to like dance around and all pretend like that it's not a big deal. I'm like yeah, I bought this car. I love this thing and it's like you can just talk openly versus always trying to posture and peacock and be like oh oh this uh new Rolex like oh I wasn't going to mention anything whereas I would be like dude, look at this watch.
I know it's a materialistic nonsense, but look at how much I love this. You know what I mean? Like you can be yourself with the people that you have real relationships with.
But when I was in LA and New York, it's more like no one wants to like act like they're not happy about it or you know what I mean? It's like everyone's trying to play an act play a role or a character and what you realize is when you're trying to play a character, dude, it's hard to stay in character 24/7. You're better off just being yourself. You're a nerd, be a nerd. Relax like let people know hey I'm I'm a weirdo. I know it, but and and then when people like you you like you never have to pretend to be something else to like oh what did he do?" "Oh, he said this, this, this." Yeah, he's kind of nuts.
Like, you know what I mean? Like, roll with it. When you stopped playing sports, when did you feel like you started to like struggle like with your I don't know if mental health is the right word or like state of mind or mindset. When did you think like, "Man, this isn't going the way I want it to go. I need to think about how I'm going to fix this."
Eric Decker
You know, when I announced retirement, it was like a a sense of relief as well for me cuz it was like I got I don't need to answer to someone else. I don't need to worry about performing for someone else. And so, it was like, "Ah, this is beautiful. I can do whatever I want. I'm my own boss. I can sleep in. I can set my schedule." Thinking that's what I wanted. And after about 6 months, 9 months, you know, started to to weigh on me cuz I was so used to this regiment schedule.
All right, be here. This is This is your lunch. This is your, you know, dinner. This is your workout schedule. Everything just You just show up and everything's taken care of. It's like, "What do you mean I have to be proactive?" I'm not a proactive person. I can't schedule, you know, hangs with with with my buddies cuz I'm used to this going in the locker room. It's It's just built in. It's there. And so, that 9-month to year time frame was like when it started to really weigh on me.
Like, all right. Well, what do I do now? And what's next? You know, I had young kids and my my wife was busy. And so, life was full. But at the same point, I had this this emptiness about myself. And so, that that was kind of the the the struggle the start of the struggle. And it took me, you know, a year and a half 2 years to like realize it. And to say like, all right. I'm I'm I'm really having a tough time. I need to I need to seek some some help, some advice.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. And Jess was a proponent of going to Onsite.
Eric Decker
She was. Um I mean, she she tried to push me into like commentating or coaching or just
Ken Rideout
Yeah. She just wanted you to have something.
Eric Decker
She wanted me to be like, yeah, be be a part of a team. I think cuz that's what ultimately I missed was being a part of something bigger than myself and being it with a group of guys who Yeah. That's all I knew growing up. Uh sports was my life. It was my identity. It was It was what fulfilled me. And so, didn't really have that. I was like, "I don't want to do that. I'm I'm not a creative person. I can't be a commentator. I don't want to be gone for
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
18 hours a day of coaching. Like, "I don't want to do these things." But at the same point, I needed something. And so, I just fought everything. I'm like, "I'll figure it out. Just leave me alone." And then I'm in, you know, my head just I can't process it. Covid's, you know, rears its head and young kids and I'm just like cluttered. I'm just like the wheels are spinning so fast, but I'm I have this anxiety and it's just like I'm I'm depressed. I'm I don't know what's next.
And so, I finally got the push from her and from a therapist to be like, "You need to go and just do a retreat and go to Onsite and, and, you know, work it out."
Ken Rideout
Yeah, and you're lucky to have a wife that's so supportive and loves you cuz I remember when I first met her and she was like happy that we we were friends. She was like, "You got to ask him to do things. Do things." I go, "Jess, people ask me about what restaurants to go to in Nashville. I'm like, 'Have you been to Nashville before?'" And the person would say like, "Yeah, one time." I go, "Then you definitely know more than me. I have like I have four kids.
When do I go anywhere?" But it was just refreshing cuz like she recognized that we like had a lot in common and was like, "He likes you. Do things with him." I'm like, "I will invite him to do everything." It's like the problem is like all I do is work and survive, you know? Like I was there, too, cuz I'm crazy as well, you know?
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
But um she's uh I I say this like as a compliment. She's a lot. And I I was telling the same thing to Caitlyn. I go, "I don't mean that as an insult." I'm like, "If I'm If I want someone to describe me as, 'Kent, he's a lot.'" And cuz like I don't take that as a negative. It's like she does it. She What she wants to do, she does it. She'll write a book. She'll sing a song. She'll win Dancing with the Stars if she wants.
You guys did Special Forces that we're going to talk about. But at what point did she start with the um like you guys had a reality TV show? Which is crazy cuz like knowing you the way I know you, if you if you told me like, "Oh, we're going to do a reality TV show." I'd be like, "You mean Jess is doing a reality TV show and dragging your ass along?" Cuz I can't see you being into that. What happened with the reality show?
Eric Decker
Well, you know, it was it was a time uh or a period of time especially in Jess's career cuz at that point she was like her fans women could relate to her for whatever reason. It was all
Ken Rideout
Millions of followers.
Eric Decker
And now and now they do cuz I think the show showed her in that light. I think forever there was this this wall and her her fan base was like, you know, prison mates and uh and just men that, you know, kind of sought after her. And so, as we you know, part of the part of the reason they approached us for the show but why we did the show cuz I'm pretty laid-back. I'm like, "Yeah, sure, whatever." was to kind of show really just our relationship together but show her in a light that was like, "Oh, wow, she's like super down-to-earth and cool.
Obviously, she's a go-getter and and she can be a lot in the sense that she's
Ken Rideout
By the way, I mean that as like the comment. I love Jess and I would never like say anything disparaging. I mean it as a comment. She's She's a lot. She'll win at everything.
Eric Decker
She will, yeah. She She will and she's super talented and she's super competitive
Ken Rideout
Super.
Eric Decker
Um but super smart and you know, and so she had She's the full package. But yeah, it was it was kind of that and you know, being young, it was just a fun experience and it was a way for us to document kind of like the lead-up to our wedding, the lead-up to our first child. That was kind of what we documented. And you know, after that we had to like film back a few times during the Super Bowl season. Like me and Demaryius went back and did a few scenes uh cuz I wasn't really filming during that time frame.
And so, it became like work at that point. That's when we kind of said, "You know what? We got kids. We got careers established." You know, that that that was the end of that. We actually I guess Jess put on social media like a season 4 comeback and everyone was like thought it was real. It was April Fool's joke.
Ken Rideout
Oh, okay.
Eric Decker
But no, that we I think it accomplished what we needed to accomplish, and I feel like we allowed people into our lives and and just got to kind of showcase like her true personality and talent that, you know, is infectious to many people.
Ken Rideout
I will say this, like a lot of times wives and girlfriends, the WAGs of professional athletes, get a very bad rap, and they get called gold diggers and this and that. And you know, Jess was an aspiring singer, so like someone being cynical or critical of her could be like, "Oh, she's just using Eric to be like elevate her platform." Because this is the kind of pushback you see from like haters online. But I would say if that show showed highlighted her as like a really down-to-earth, cool person, that's exactly who she is.
Like she never met me, but as soon as I came over to your house the first time, it was like we were friends for years. She's like, "Oh, come on in. What do you need? Anything?" It's almost like, "Yeah, just don't the door's open. Just come on in." Like even if we go to your house now, I would never think, like, "Let me ring the bell." I'm like, "Oh, Eric's in here somewhere." Even if I you know, like, "Let's just go in." Um but that's the way she is.
She's like incredibly, incredibly kind. In a lot of ways, she has a lot in common with Kaitlyn Bristowe. Cuz like as a reality TV person, Kaitlyn being on The Bachelor and then winning Dancing with the Stars, you see the pushback she gets, and I'm like, "It sucks that all these people are like throwing darts and arrows at you." Because she's cool.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
You You don't have to like everything about her, but they have Like Jess, she has no filter. She's just like, "This is who I am." Like I'm It's not an act.
Eric Decker
Yeah, you love it or you hate it. Yeah.
Ken Rideout
That's it. But there's nothing hate about either one of them. Like I think Jess is like just The thing people like is that they're not her. It's It's easy for women to be like, "Fuck her." Cuz she's doing everything that people would want to do. Writing cookbooks, singing songs, having a awesome husband and kids. Like people tend to dislike others if it reflects if it reminds them of anything that they're not doing or any of their own shortcomings.
Eric Decker
That's never going to go away, unfortunately, but what I was going to say is like it's just that authentic piece and that's again like something I love about you as well as like like you know where you stand or how you feel about something. Whether you like it or not, like
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
It's refreshing. You know, a lot of people will you know, be politically correct or they'll you know, I'm at fault for this cuz I was I was such a people pleaser forever in my life, but like you'll kind of steer around again the conflict or friction because you just don't want people to be mad at you, but you guys just like cut it like a knife and and move on to the next thing. But you like you successful that way because personally it it's it's attractive.
It's like everyone wants to feel that way, but not enough people have the confidence to just to be that way and so yeah, I mean, regardless of being like the nicest person, Mother Teresa in the world or being the most hated person, like there's always going to be the other side, right? That hates you or loves you for who you are.
Ken Rideout
Yeah, yeah. Like that that's a good example cuz like I've definitely said to people like I might even said it to you once like dude, get your together. You're you're an athlete. Like you're in terrible shape. Get it together. But someone could be like, "F you, dude. I know I'm in terrible shape." But it's like sometimes you need to hear from someone who's your friend like, "Dude, get it together. You can't walk around like this. You're an athlete."
Eric Decker
That's so true.
Ken Rideout
That's an example of like holding someone accountable keeping it light-hearted but still being like brother, get it let's go. Get on top of this.
Eric Decker
Person to check their ego too to be like especially if someone you trust or you love. It's like if if they're going to come and be critical of something, it's like they're doing it out of love, not out of like, you know, "F you." It's so to be able to say like, "All right, I need I need to like check myself. This is this is feedback that obviously is something I can work on." And so I think again just the emotional maturity to be like, "All right, well I hear you and I'm I'm going to I'm going to work at it."
Ken Rideout
What is I'll start to wrap up. I know you've got a Uber duties I kid pickups. That's what I'm like an Uber driver. I can't wait till this new Tesla taxi comes out. I'm thinking about buying it. I'm not kidding. I'm thinking about buying a car. Yeah, there's like they have a new robo-taxi that you own it and it just goes out and works and you like you know because the reason I would want to do it they're like 30 grand you buy it and it just goes out on the road like you know when Austin they have those Waymos self-driving cars.
I've taken them.
Eric Decker
Me too. Yeah, great.
Ken Rideout
But Tesla's going to make one a robo-taxi where it's just I don't even know if it has a steering wheel. It's just a driverless car that people can buy and put them out in the thing.
Eric Decker
Send it to pick my kid up take him to the sports
Ken Rideout
The thing is if you had one especially at the ages our kids are about to be to be able to be like yo go get it and and most of the time those self-driving cars would be much safer than some random joker who's like been working overnight and now he's driving Uber to make more money and he's like sleeping at the wheel.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
But to be able to send like a self-driving car to get the kids and drive them around. My daughter's getting a driver's license in like three or four months.
Eric Decker
As your as your Uber taxi does
Ken Rideout
A full self-driving Tesla. I told my wife she has to have a full self-driver. She's like how's she going to learn? I was like I'd rather her have the self-driving capacity to be like you know what I'm super nervous right now. Just Tesla Jesus take the wheel. So I know you got to get the kids there but I wanted to ask quickly special forces What was the name of the show you did the reality show?
Eric Decker
Yeah, special forces.
Ken Rideout
Oh, that was the name? All right, special forces. How did that come about and tell me about that experience. I loved watching you guys on it.
Eric Decker
That was that was an amazing experience. So season 1 I was asked to do it. Jess is on tour. I had to turn it down and from that point on we became fans. We watched season 1 season 2 and we're hooked season 3 as well. And so I'm like I want to get back I want to get back on so we kept asking our agent and the only way I could really get back on at that point was was doing this couple thing and so it was probably two two and a half weeks from when they started airing the show they they gave us a call and Jess and I had a family trip to Italy planned and we're like I can't do it.
It's a lot of undoing. It's like child care, you know.
Ken Rideout
And knowing how cheap you are if you had to lose a dollar on the change flight you would have been like no pass on the TV show I've got to go to Italy.
Eric Decker
Yeah. We passed on it because it's like it was it felt overwhelming. And Jess really never wanted to do it you know cuz it's something I wanted to do. And so they go to different couple couple turns down come back 10 days 10 days left for the show airs and they asked like listen here's here's the final offer do you guys want to do it? I'm like
Ken Rideout
And by the way can you negotiate the fee?
Eric Decker
You can.
Ken Rideout
So like if they were like we don't man we don't want to do it if you were like you know what I'll do it but I want three million dollars. Like theoretically like you could have that conversation.
Eric Decker
You could yeah I mean that's that's outrageous money but yes you could you definitely there's negotiation power and especially depending on where you're at in the celebrity view I guess.
Ken Rideout
Justify it even if you took a beating on some of the travel that you couldn't give back you'd be like you know what
Eric Decker
Yes. Okay. Yeah. And and honestly for me like the money was was obviously great but it was just I wanted the experience cuz it was like an opportunity to like get back get back in a locker room and yeah and do something that's challenging.
Ken Rideout
Unfortunately you're in the locker room with not to pick on Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives but it's a far cry from Peyton Manning. You and Teresa talking about her experience in the joint.
Eric Decker
It's different. It's different but relatively the same right? No but so we finally committed to it or we're doing it we figured out all the logistics and uh
Ken Rideout
And this is where recording.
Eric Decker
It was in Morocco.
Ken Rideout
Oh that's cool.
Eric Decker
Yeah so we went to we flew to Morocco which was
Ken Rideout
Marrakech?
Eric Decker
It's kind of pain in the ass yeah. Flew to Marrakech stayed there for a night did our kind of pre-taping filming and then we drove to the High Atlas which was like a couple hours from Marrakech and so also we arrive in this desert world. We're staying the night and it and the experience starts. Like, all right, you go to bed, just get ready to wake up. And so, the whole time we're thinking like, yeah, they're going to like take us out of our room and just throw us into these Well, we wake up at like 4:00 in the morning, we get on the bus, and we have to go somewhere to start the experience.
But, I mean, just to to be able to be in that environment, experience, and appreciate what kind of, you know, to a small scale what men and women do in the military. And like I said, just just to kind of like trauma bond again with people like going through going through like The hardest part wasn't the physical task, it was it was sitting there waiting for what's next cuz you had no idea. Like, they could wake you up at 5:00 in the morning and put you through a punishing workout, or they could just let you sit there for a couple hours.
Ken Rideout
I'll take the workout versus the unknown.
Eric Decker
Like like get get it going, or it could be, you know, we're all at 9:00 getting ready for bed. Like, do we go to bed? Are we still awake? Are they going to pull us out? You don't know. Like, it's it's just it's the unknown. So, your cortisol levels are just are just running high. And so, awesome experience. Would I do it again? Probably, but no. Um but just grateful that to like again, just have that to say I've done it, but also to give acknowledgement to really the the men and women that's like serve our country.
Ken Rideout
How hard was it being there with Jess like wanting to like make sure you're protecting her? Cuz that would be my biggest fear is like, you can do anything to me, but if I see someone disrespect my wife, I'm breaking character.
Eric Decker
Yeah. Well, you know, Jess is tough. She's a big girl. So, any of like the the confrontational stuff, I wasn't too worried about cuz again, I know in the back of my head it is a TV show. So, I'm not as worried, but I think it more so, you know, she's smaller and the the rucks, the bags that you had to carry were 40 45 lbs. So, like she's really small. She's tiny. And so, I was worried about just how's that going to going to wear her down?
So, there was times where we would partner up on some of the hikes or some of the runs, and I would try to give her a little support, you know, with holding the bag up or the the ruck, excuse me. Um otherwise, like I truthfully wasn't too worried cuz I I she's she's a grinder. And I think I got to see her in such a different light
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Because, you know, you you've you get accustomed to living a certain way and we've kind of like earned in a sense the way we live, but like you go back into like kind of the characteristics that built you and got you there. And she was a tough She grew up tough. She's a tough person, and so seeing that actually like come to life
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And grinding it out, I was like, "Oh, man, I'm even more attracted."
Ken Rideout
That's awesome. And uh how were the other contestants?
Eric Decker
Everyone was great. I mean, obviously I I kind of like uh go with the other athletes, you know.
Ken Rideout
And Reese was there, right? With Shawn. Oh, and you guys are buddies.
Eric Decker
Yeah. So, there was five of us from National. Riana Cobb, the East family, Jess and I, and then uh Marky Mark from uh Montana Boys.
Ken Rideout
I don't know him.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Ken Rideout
What about uh Juicy Smollett? You guys been hanging?
Eric Decker
We uh we haven't spoke, but you know, respect he was there.
Ken Rideout
You're too diplomatic. I thought that that was an awesome choice by the producers to get him in the mix. Um and
Eric Decker
Believe he signed up for it.
Ken Rideout
I know, I can't either. But I mean, I guess if you're trying to like rehab your image and you're down and out and down bad, like you got to
Eric Decker
You got to do anything.
Ken Rideout
Put your head down and get back in there. But the hardest part for me on watching the show was watching Shawn Johnson get hurt in that boxing match. Like I didn't enjoy that at all. I was like, "Come on, man." And she's an insane athlete. I can't believe that like she even got caught with a shot.
Eric Decker
Dude.
Ken Rideout
Cuz she's tough, too.
Eric Decker
She is I mean, she's tough cuz she took She took a lot of hits. I mean, she's fighting a girl that's, you know, a foot taller and plus some, probably.
Ken Rideout
It was a very weird situation.
Eric Decker
Were down. So, she took a lot to the face. Um and that was like cuz I've never gotten into a fight. So, it was survival for me, but that that that again, those experiences are like you you're doing something you've never done. And I think that's kind of the anticipation is more of like, you know, the tough part than actually doing it.
Ken Rideout
Yeah. What is what's next for you guys? What do you have going on with Jess? Any TV shows on the horizon? What other projects are you working on?
Eric Decker
Yeah, I'm I'm all in pickleball. I love uh
Ken Rideout
Yeah, what's the latest with that? Are you going to get on the tour?
Eric Decker
Not on the tour yet. I I signed with Yola. So, I signed a contract with Yola. I'm an official pickleball athlete. We're going to be doing some events throughout the year. But right now for me it's just like I get the coaching.
Ken Rideout
Yep.
Eric Decker
And I get kind of developmental work in exchange for obviously supporting Yola and and repping them.
Ken Rideout
And what's Yola? Is that a brand?
Eric Decker
Yeah, so they it started as a ping pong brand, but they're one of the they're the biggest pickleball brand.
Ken Rideout
Make the paddles and stuff?
Eric Decker
Paddles, apparel, shoes.
Ken Rideout
Oh, really?
Eric Decker
They they kind of I think they bought out or they partnered with Pickle Roll, which is which is the court itself.
Ken Rideout
Oh, cool.
Eric Decker
So, they're kind of, you know, in that space taking over everything. And the hard part about pickleball is there's no like unified ball or unified paddle. They have different like grading, you know, ranges or like, I don't know, certain directories of but it's just like it needs to be more unionized, I think.
Ken Rideout
Body.
Eric Decker
Yeah, one governing body would be super important for that league. But it's it's the fastest growing league as as we all know. I I love it. It's been my vice for me now being away from football because it it gives me everything I need. It's competitive, you know, it's a workout, and it's like community. And so, I've I've kind of filled those those buckets. But I really I'm on that. I'm doing an investment with Crush Yard in Nashville here that is opening up and it's a franchise of pickleball eatery concept that's opening up.
Jess has
Ken Rideout
A like a like a club type vibe where you can go play pickleball and get something to eat?
Kind of like Paddle House?
Eric Decker
Kind of like paddle house, yeah. For the pickleball format. So they got the the food and bev, they got the pickleball, they got golf bays.
Ken Rideout
Oh, interesting.
Eric Decker
And so they kind of are trying to do all these different activations, but pickleball is is kind of what's tying or bringing people in. Um but otherwise, yeah, I mean I I say my role uh is like the supporter. I'm just Uber dad. Taking care of stuff at the house, supporting Jess. She's got a million things going on from, you know, her cookware line to a book coming out this fall to music to different endorsements. And like I said, different ventures she's spinning up. So
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Uh it's always in for me like take care of my yard, get the garden, get to do things I love, baby.
Ken Rideout
Well, you mentioned golf, too. That's another one I forgot to mention. When I played golf with you, I'm like, "Jesus Christ, this guy's good at everything." I'm like the worst golfer under the sun. I'm like, "How the hell are you getting finding time to be good at golf?"
Eric Decker
No, I'm not good at golf. I actually put my golf clubs in the storage. I'm done. I'm done with golf.
Ken Rideout
Well, listen, dude. I want to respect your time. I know you got things to do, but I'm so glad you came and spoke with me. And I hope that other men, especially the dads out there, are listening to this and getting a lot out of it because if nothing else, I say to people like, "Learn from my mistakes. Let me tell you all the things I've done wrong." And you're out there, you're doing it. I'm proud of you. I love you. Keep doing what you're doing.
And I'm honored and proud to be your friend.
Eric Decker
I appreciate it. I just got to say like I'm just grateful obviously for you. And I think the takeaway from this would just be like to have the conversation. You know, I think that's that's the starting point is to identify that like no one's perfect. You know, everyone has their stuff. And as long as you have, especially as a as a as a male, as a man, another male, another man to speak to and live life with and to bounce things off of or a group of men like to me that that's what's all about.
You can't go through life by yourself. I've tried it. I'm sure you've tried it. It's not It's not successful. It's a lonely place. And so, having other like-minded people that you can share life with is so important. So, I appreciate you.
Ken Rideout
My pleasure. Remember for everyone out there, you're only as sick as the secrets you keep. So, if you're living or living with secrets, like, you want to start getting healthy, like, get that off your chest. And the other thing, a lot of times people ask me, "How do you build a network of friends? How are you friends with that guy?" And I would tell anyone this, you want to be you want to have good friends, start by being a good friend. Even when it's not Even when it's not easy.
Sometimes you're like, "Oh man, that's a big ask. I don't know. Would he do that for me?" You don't We'll never know if you don't like put the selfishness aside and be selfless. And sometimes, you know, it's like a busi- any business relationship. Sometimes, you have a business deal where we start a business together and I land a huge deal that generates $10 million and you're like, "Shit, I didn't I haven't done anything. He did it all." Part of a business relationship or any kind of relationship, but sometimes it might not feel balanced.
Eric Decker
Yep.
Ken Rideout
But, if you're trying to keep score of every transaction in a relationship, you're yourself. You have to have blind faith in the people that you're tight with and recognize sometimes he's going to do me a solid and sometimes I'm going to do him a solid and stop with the scorekeeping.
Eric Decker
Oh yeah. Say it.
Ken Rideout
That's it. On good friends, be a good friend. Thanks for being with us. I appreciate you guys. Before you go, please do me a favor. I feel like an saying this, but please subscribe to the show. If you're listening on iTunes, Spotify, please subscribe. And especially on YouTube, just hit the subscribe. You don't even have to like the damn thing. Just subscribe. It helps me massively and I'll keep bringing you the good content. Thanks for being with us. Thanks, Eric Decker. Boom.
All right, guys. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did. Please take a quick minute to subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening. This is a new show, so subscribing makes a huge difference. Please also take a minute to give it a review and leave a comment on Apple podcast and on Spotify. You can also subscribe and leave a comment on YouTube. Again, this is really important for us, especially now since we're just getting started.
Ken Rideout
Thanks a lot for being with us and we'll see you next week.
Key takeaways
- Decker says losing the structure of football left a gap he did not expect after retirement.
- A familiar routine can feel supportive until it becomes the only source of identity.
- Therapy helped him name what had changed and consider what he needed next.
- He thinks parents can support young athletes by emphasizing effort without making every game a test.
- Sharing the work of asking for help can make it easier for other men to do the same.
Nowhere to Hide
A weekly letter from Ken Rideout about doing the uncomfortable part, and the reasons we use to avoid it.
It starts with 3 Days, 3 Hard Things: one short story from Ken and one hard thing to do, every day for three days. Then one letter a week.
One letter a week. Unsubscribe any time. We never share your email.
