From Chaos to Kona: A Transformational Journey

Ken Rideout2:34

And then I saw you and was like, "Yo." But it was crazy to see you at an Ironman cuz neither of us like when I knew you, neither of us were doing Ironman. So

We wasn't doing that. That was my first triathlon actually.

Ken Rideout2:47

And you know, it's a little bit of these nerd try nerd dudes and

A lot of it.

My coach at the time was Orion Mims. Yeah.

Big brother boxed in Brooklyn. You know him? He's a sick 10-hour Ironman. Like just sick [ __ ] athlete all around. Shout out to Orion Mims. [snorts] And um so he brings me into Sid's bike shop that was over there on like whatever.

I remember you all kidding out in your in your Sids.

Ken Rideout3:36

That's right. That's why when we when I started idiating on this podcast with Rob Moore, our mutual friend, and talking about doing hard things, you were the first person that we talked about, it's like, "Yo, no one's done more hard [ __ ] than John Joseph." And we'll get into the whole backtory,

Ken Rideout3:53

How was the f experience in the first race? Uh, I didn't have the best race cuz I didn't sleep and it was just You remember how hot it was? Learn a lot that day.

I learned a lot. Yeah, I learned a lot and I kept You know what they always say, you you're one and done or you just [ __ ] get the bug and I got the bug and I signed up for I did the the first Cabo

Ken Rideout4:15

2013 right after that March and it was on St. Patty's Day. So everybody was on the everybody was on the uh on the run course like cuz all the college kids go down there it's spring break and they're like

Let's you know throwing up in front of you and like it was it was wild but I I you know I just enjoy it and

Ken Rideout4:50

Yeah. So, I saw you in 2016. Yeah. You You were introducing me to everybody. You introduced me to to Minda Caffrey, who I [ __ ] love. And Timothy O'Donnell.

Shout out to him. He's a He not many people know he was EOD in the Navy, supposed audience to Naval Academy.

He's not He's He's He's He's a real dude.

And the nicest people in the world. They run a whole training thing out of Boulder. And I also met Heather Jackson, who I love. And her husband Watt from Wattie Ink was a punk rocker. He's like, "You're in the [ __ ] crowd, dude." I'm like, "Yeah." You know,

It's so funny, man. That was a fun weekend. That was a fun weekend uh in Hawaii in 16. I had a terrible race, but it was uh it was a fun time.

It's just, you know, I I don't get into all that. It's if it I just like to have fun and do my best and meet people. And there's a lot of people in recovery that are in doing iron mans and stuff. And uh so that's what got me into it. I met some amazing people all over the world, you know, but did a bunch of podcast because of it.

Ken Rideout6:51

Well, let's talk about your origin story cuz I think that that will really bring the whole thing home for people to understand like

When someone tells you, oh, doing an Ironman is ain't that ain't [ __ ] for John Joseph compared to where he's been. You grew up in New York City.

Yeah. So, uh, I was telling your wife like, she's like, "Where do you know?" We were going through it in the car. So, yeah, I was, uh, born in Elmherst, General, Queens. My father was a professional boxer, uh, John Shorty McGawan. And, uh, he boxed, uh, in Queens, uh, Atoria, but he also trained, uh, with Customado when he was at Gracy Gym before he went upstate on 14th Street

Ken Rideout8:45

Her family.

Ken Rideout10:02

The three of you went together.

Ken Rideout11:02

Were the parents were the parents getting paid by the state? That's why they were taking the kids.

So they had a bunch of kids and they were getting a bunch of money.

Okay.

Ken Rideout11:47

Yeah.

Ken Rideout12:03

Come on.

I swear to God. And like any rotten coal cuts, they would they made us put our lunches in a Wonderbread bag.

Yep.

Ken Rideout12:50

So I just stood up and popped the guy and [ __ ] dropped him. And the whole lunchroom was like, you know,

Ken Rideout12:57

They took me to the principal's office and I told him this this house is [ __ ] up. They're beating us. They're starving us. and they called him down and he took me to the mental hospital, smacked me around, stuck my face on the fence, and all the mental patients were like grabbing my face. He's like, "If you ever say anything again, I'm going to put you in here. No one's ever going to." So, the mental, physical abuse was just, it was through the roof. We were never allowed to go in the refrigerator the entire 5 years we were there.

Ken Rideout13:33

How long were you there?

Almost five, like five years. 5 years.

Ken Rideout14:34

The older kids that were other foster kids,

Ken Rideout15:11

And then like they're like they start taking us to international house of pancakes. They got us pool passes. They took us shopping. any toys we wanted. Like, you're going to tell them you made it all up, right? And we're like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

We [ __ ] juiced them, man. I mean, you know, we found out where they was hiding the money and we started stealing it back.

Oh, the family started taking y'all nice places saying, "Tell them you made it up." Okay.

Right. So, we we would panhandle. We were like little scammers. And that's why I say like [ __ ] that are like hustlers and [ __ ] they they they created that way out of like necessity, you know, like they say necessity is the mother of invention and they were starving us and then she's taking us to the [ __ ] doctor and we're like he gained 8 pounds and she's looking like how the [ __ ] are these kids? But we were stealing the money and going to like friendlies and eating it.

We were obsessed with food and and then like even at night we would stay up till 2:00 in the morning and do these bread bag these uh bread drawer raids and steal bread and make sandwiches and like we we had this whole other life that existed in this garage.

Ken Rideout16:23

Like like that was our world. We had a little TV. We would dance to soul train and then I found a little AM radio and I used to h like after all the [ __ ] with the beatings and the abuse whatever and I would just cry myself to sleep with this little AM radio in my ear listening to like Marvin Gay and all. That's how I got into all the soul music was because I I I identified with the struggle of what people were going people of color were going through in this country back in them days, man.

In the ear like sending them to Vietnam to get [ __ ] blown up or whatever the [ __ ] And then they come back and they get [ __ ] spit on and treated like [ __ ] And it was just, you know, like inner city blues and all that [ __ ] I was [ __ ] just like identifying

Ken Rideout17:54

They were going to get all the foster kids taken out of the home.

Ken Rideout17:58

And then the social worker comes in and the father stands up and goes, "Well, they have something to tell you, Bob." So, and they look at me and I go, "Everything we told you about these

Ken Rideout18:36

Did they have their own kids?

They had two of their own.

Ken Rideout19:38

Cuz that was always the thing. The kids, every little thing, like I said, it [ __ ] with a kid's mind. Kids would be like, "Why is your homework say this name on it and that's not your name?" And like, "Ah, the orphans, you know, [ __ ] with us." But after I started pugging [ __ ] out, they were like, "Don't mess with those kids."

Ken Rideout20:04

Oh, the lunch that she would give you. Okay.

And then we would go into the home room and and and go in the closet and eat all the kids lunches. So they'd be like, "Where the [ __ ] is my yodals? Hey, my peanut butter and jelly sandwich is missing." We'd be like burping. And

It's funny that you say that cuz I can remember as a kid having um the coupons for the u free lunch. you know, if you qualified for the free lunch, you get a little ticket. But then the other kids, and no one was rich where I was. I mean, everyone was kind of poor, but there were different levels of poor. And we had the ticket. So, we didn't have any of like the nicities like the the snacks like yodels and [ __ ] potato chips. We just got the crap that the school gave us.

But I can remember even those little things of being like,

I'm eating this freaking Salsbury steak and this guy's having like a sub that his mom bought him at the store. Yeah, man. It got to you like when you like there was one story I told my first book was my memoir and this kid invited me to go to his house in Deer in Deer Park and we flipped baseball cards. That was the thing back then, flipping cards.

Dude, he was getting all these the mother and father kept coming out with all these snacks and [ __ ] sandwiches and pizza and all this [ __ ] And I went up into the tree in their backyard and I said, "I'm living here. I'm not going back there. And they had to lure me down with chocolate coconut cake and Bosco and I came out of the tree and I went home and they never let me come back there again.

You know what's crazy about all the trauma though? Everyone has their own stories, right? And those what happened to you is like unforgivable and and and inconceivable to a lot of people. But your brain only knows trauma. Like the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to you is the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to you. The trauma just fills the void. It doesn't matter how much you pack in there. If the little bit of trauma fills the room, you put more trauma in there, the room's still full.

And that's the thing is people always want to compare trauma. And it's like if you feel like you've been wronged, it's like it's it's pain that has to be dealt with.

Ken Rideout21:58

thinking this is never going to end. This situation that I'm in, it's never going to end. I just want to get out of here. And when I

And you don't see any way out. When I went to college as a freshman at Framingham State, I remember the older kids were like, "One more year, I'm out of here." And I remember saying to this kid, Bobby D. Martino, who's still my dear friend, who brought me there when he was like a senior. And I remember saying to him when I was a freshman, I'm like, "Why would you ever want to leave? I do 10 years here at this school." I go, "This is excellent.

You get to go to the cafeteria and eat everything. No one's telling you what to do. My room is clean. I can control everything." You know, I just hated being in the chaos of a childhood with like junkies all around and but that feeling is like overwhelming when you're a kid.

But you know what? You know what was the the straw that broke the camel's back.

So they never let us do anything, right? So we had to sneak around. We couldn't play sports. They want We were like their we were like their indentured servants, right? They made us clean the car. They didn't want to waste electricity. We had to clean their carpets with brand new toilet bowl brushes. Like these were these people were [ __ ] sick. Basically like every day we would go to school, we would toss those lunches in the thing. And then I I tell this story, Mr.

Paladino and the basketball team in in Deer Park. I made the team. I kept trying out. So we told them that uh I had after school stuff. I had the lie and my brother's cover for me, right? And then I I I was I I kept making the try out. So when when you went to the list every day, your name was on there if you were still on the team. Yeah.

And I got no respect at all in that town and I'm this little kid trying to figure out like,

You know, have anybody like me. The only kids that like me were the ones they bust in from Wine Dance to Black Kids. That's who I hung out with. And

Ken Rideout25:02

Like calling my name out. I was the high scorer, the point guard, starting point guard.

Ken Rideout26:28

Damn.

Ken Rideout26:34

Yeah, I know. I can tell.

Ken Rideout27:05

People were kind

Amazing to us. But we [ __ ] damaged goods.

Ken Rideout27:31

Until it fell off and we [ __ ] threw it away and went back to the poor box. The worst thing was having some kid go, "That's my [ __ ] shirt. He's wearing my shirt that his family gave to the Salvation Army poor box."

Yeah. and they took us shopping and I'll never forget it because my brothers went to like Green Acres Mall or whatever and got all the [ __ ] uh [ __ ] with the alligators on it. And you know what I said to her?

Ken Rideout27:57

Where's the black neighborhood and these She's like this waspy woman with a [ __ ] Mercedes. She's like, "Why do you want to go there?" I said, "Cuz I want to get my clothes there." And they took me to a

Ken Rideout28:39

Macau was her name, man.

Ken Rideout28:39

like she kept looking out the window making sure nobody stole her tires. It was the hood in like Nassau County, whatever the [ __ ] town it was.

Ken Rideout28:54

Dude? I was like it was that was [ __ ] uh 75. I was 13.

Ken Rideout29:00

So I am a 13year-old son.

She goes, "You're not actually going to wear this, are you?" And I go, "Yeah, and I'm going to get like four more outfits just like it." I did like the Soul Train [ __ ] when I came out and [ __ ] everybody's like all the black people, but like holy [ __ ] Like this kid got flavor, but it was from watching Soul Train. That's what we had in that garage. We found a little I don't know if you remember those little round TVs. We found one in the garbage and we stuck a [ __ ] coat coat hanger in there

Ken Rideout30:05

I like that the woman let you get all the crazy outfit.

Ken Rideout30:35

So, my brother went to Garden City High School with Arthur Mccanty Jr.

Oh, you know he's my buddy. Yeah, tell them like Eugene McGawan, they let there was a pond there. They let all the ducks in the school so they so there was a big whole thing and then they went out and smoked weed together. Arthur Mccanty Jr. his father was the pro Ali Fraser.

That's right. My brother went to school with him and my brother he I ran into him in a sports bar in Manhattan and he remembered my brother. He refereed one of my fights at the New York Athletic Club. Get

Out of here. Yeah. So it was the heads. We were down with the heads, which was like the stoners. So then I'm in the car and she goes, "Oh, they're, you know, I don't know what they're going to these kids are going." I said, "You know what? They could say whatever they want." I said, "Wait till the black girls [ __ ] see me." And you know, she looks at me and she goes, "Black girls? There's no black people in Garden City." And dude, I walk into the [ __ ] school, every classroom emptied out.

I was like, "LOOK AT THIS [ __ ] DUDE." My nickname and I got the punk rock haircut. Like I had the [ __ ] Ziggy Stardust haircut and they caught my nickname became Bowie.

Ken Rideout31:54

And got But they realized we were [ __ ] up and we were stealing from them and throwing parties and we started [ __ ] doing drugs and drinking. We didn't even make it there a year. They kicked us out. They said, "Come and take these [ __ ] out." And then they put me and my brother in St. John's Home for Boys in Rockway Beach on 110. And that's when my whole [ __ ] on the street started.

Ken Rideout33:17

And what happened at that place? It So was it like a dormatory?

No, it was uh it's it's it's like a fourstory building. It's on the boardwalk, but they c it's called the Irish Riviera is the nickname for it. And and you're going to drop a black home in the middle of [ __ ] Rockaway Beach. So they were beating up all the kids. And then we had this dance on the bsentennial 1776 to 1976. And there was this big dance and the girl, black girls came from the other uh home in Brooklyn or whatever. And then these uh locals threw Molotov cocktails and beat up the kids at the dance.

And then I got jumped and that's when I started hanging out. My brother came in. So there was a crazy kid there named Bobby Keela. Bobby K. And he got set on fire by his mom's boyfriend and he was Yeah, he was [ __ ] up. But they called him the thing. He was like 5'9, 240 lbs of solid muscle. like his fists were the size of your [ __ ] head. And everyone in the neighborhood was scared of him. Everyone in the home was scared of him.

The staff was scared of him. And I started hanging out with him and uh doing acid and all that [ __ ] And then the first time I the I took acid with him and he tried to murder me and then yeah, he tried to stab me with a knife. He had a flashback.

Ken Rideout34:58

Yeah. So I c I went on to the streets of Rockaway in 76 and I I hung out with this heroin dealer Jimbo Jimbo Sterling and him and his him and his girlfriend did heroin.

Ken Rideout35:27

And that was my first arrest. My second arrest was uh this airborne guy, Joey Keane, who passed away, I think a couple years ago, from a heart attack. We um broke into a supermarket on 116 and the cops.

Ken Rideout35:27

then the cops just hit us with the flood lights. All right, you [ __ ] [ __ ] get off there.

That was my second arrest. And then after that [ __ ] happened with B with it just got bad and then I just said, "Fuck this. I'm leaving." And I split. So I had two bench warrants and I went onto the streets in January of 77 and on 116 Rockaway was a famous place because you would see the Ramones hanging out there. Everybody would [ __ ] go to the beach there. That's where they came up with the song Rock Rock Away Beach.

Yep. So like I I started hanging out there and then uh the first night on the uh uh first few nights on the street, all the bums there, there was Vietnam vets with their [ __ ] legs blown off in wheelchairs and [ __ ] Like the way they treated the vets that came back from NAM was terrible. And I was hanging out with them. We were ripping up the boardwalk making garbage campfires under this abandoned um 116 marquee. We slept in an abandoned hotel on 115 called the Holland House.

Ken Rideout36:56

And were there other kids, young kids with you there or was it all?

I was like the youngest dude. They called me Little John was my nickname. I was [ __ ] 14 years old. So then in the Holland house, that's how I got I got piped in the back of the head. I [ __ ] the night I took acid and left the home and all that [ __ ] happened with Bobby K. I uh I was sleeping in in one of the abandoned hotel rooms and there was a bed and it was like I just crashed out.

Ken Rideout38:26

That's the first time I tried heroin. And uh the hell was that?

It was [ __ ] I I didn't like I got sick. I threw up and I never Thank God I never did it again. They he Yeah. They say you're one of the lucky ones. But I was a kid. I was into the hallucinogenics, the speed. I was [ __ ] smoking dust. Like I was a garbage pale. [ __ ] two and all, second all, Placidil, pink 697s. I was selling [ __ ] drugs everywhere on the beach. And then I started going into the city at night to the punk clubs that I had this punk rock girlfriend.

In 77 I was going to then it was summer 77 summer punk but you know I I signed a deal with um Ryan Adams the singer he owns Paxand Publishing so this book's coming out it's a novel a noir kind of thing called City of Fear and it's set in that year and it's fictional characters but it's all the [ __ ] that we did so it's true

Yeah yeah so that's how you got into the music you were going just going well well backtrack a little it. Mikey Debris, we used to he used to make fake acid out of he would take bladder. This guy could make any fake drug cuz he was a junkie. If he needed to get high, he would go in a [ __ ] he this guy was like incredible. He would go in a in a drugstore and take uh vitamin B12, dump them in a baggie and call them 697s, walk into Forest Park or anywhere Grover Cleveland Park, sell them for three bucks a piece and walk out of there with $500 [ __ ] dollars.

So we started making fake acid and he would take blot of paper that the acid was on.

He would take Vix formula 44 and a cigarette, peel the filter, press the [ __ ] filter in the Vix Formula 44, make a perfect circle. Bop bop bop bop bop bop on the whole page. 20 hits, $5 a hit, cut it up, put it in aluminum foil, call it brown bladder. And we went to all the concerts. I saw Sabbath, Zeppelin, the Who? Yes. We were [ __ ] selling fake acid at all of these [ __ ] shows. And then we would trade fake acid for like floor tickets and [ __ ] like real acid.

The best acid I ever had. I had window pain and I went to see a Who concert and it was the [ __ ] band was melting in front of me on stage. And it's funny cuz I was like I traded him. We broke into a s uh into a warehouse, a drug warehouse,

And we got pharmaceutical grade quaudes, demandrex in the foil, and this guy had sheets of these [ __ ] things, right? They were like as strong as lemon 714s.

And we were just [ __ ] ripping them for like three bucks a piece. So the guy goes at the garden, I had quaudes, too. And fake acid. He's like He's like, "I've been up for five days on this window pane. I'll give you a hit of window pane for like two quaoons. I was like, if this [ __ ] is beat, I'm like, I'm selling beat [ __ ] I'm like, if this is beat, I'm gonna come [ __ ] come find you and put a pipe across your [ __ ] head.

Ken Rideout42:10

And then I went to Forest Park. I started sleeping in the buildings. You know, I'm 15 years old, dude. Sleeping in [ __ ] stairwells of the building. You would go up to the top floor right before the roof cuz there would always be like a heater there.

Ken Rideout42:32

Yeah.

So, you know, this is again social media you find [ __ ] out like this guy read my book. So what happened was this guy sister got sold dust and she flipped out and jumped out a window and then he came in the park shooting like it was I was making a ton of money at the time. So the bags of dust you'd put $10 worth of angel dust in an aluminum foil packet. We would So this guy Disco Mike was he was like the muscle.

He carried a 45. It was like we would go to Grover, Cleveland Park, Spaghetti Park, and Corona, Forest Park, the carbines, and sell these pouches of dust for $10. And I got a dollar off of every bag. And they would give me like a 100, 200 bags to sell. I was making 200 bucks as a [ __ ] kid on the street. And then this kid who was crazy from Woodside, like Woodside had the mania, I got locked up with some of them. They were the [ __ ] maniac Irish dudes in Woodside, Queens.

Ken Rideout44:25

Yeah. So, I passed out and I woke up with him carrying me to his [ __ ] bedroom and I just started being like, "Well, what the [ __ ] Get off."

This is right after you've been shot.

Ken Rideout47:06

I forget what his John something or another. And I hit him up and I was like, "Yo, you were in that area. Do you remember Disco Mike from Forest Park that sold the Angel Dust?" And he goes, "Yeah, we called him we called him Muscle Mike cuz he was on steroids. He looked like John Travolta on steroids, like discoed out."

Ken Rideout47:28

You know, brought him around and whatever. He was down with whatever crime family out there in Queens." I I don't know if it was like the Gamb like whoever the [ __ ] it was in Howard Beach like the guy he whatever the [ __ ] Yeah. And I go Yeah. You know what happened to him man? He [ __ ] raped the wrong kid and the and mobsters like [ __ ] gave him a taste of his own [ __ ] medicine. He and he was like he wouldn't answer that.

Yeah, that's what happened.

Ken Rideout48:11

First [ __ ] night on the unit. Dude [ __ ] with me, walks up behind me, puts his [ __ ] dick on the back of my head. I pick up the chair. Like anybody did [ __ ] like that to me. That was worse than like spitting in my face. Yep.

Ken Rideout48:59

He left in a body bag and I was like well that puts a whole new [ __ ] spin cuz everybody always knew about Spofford that it was worse than Rikers cuz they were like these [ __ ] are young, dumb, full of [ __ ] They're trying to make a name for themselves. Rikers [ __ ] just want to get out and go serve their time upstate or whatever the [ __ ] you don't want to you don't want to case in in Rikers.

Ken Rideout49:21

So yeah, so I I hit that [ __ ] with a chair and then and then his boy was on the chow line and I just walked up to him. I go, "Yo." And he turns around and I just [ __ ] laid him out too. And then they put me in the the cells, the padded rooms or whatever.

Ken Rideout50:29

Yeah.

And [ __ ] goes, "All right, let's go." And he [ __ ] leans on me and kicks the [ __ ] window the whole [ __ ] gate. Baba boom like the bottom pops out. He

Ken Rideout50:40

On the bus going to court.

Ken Rideout50:43

He told me he's like, "I need you to help me sit next to me on the bus and [ __ ] block the cos." So then they kicks out the bottom of the window and in one movement it was like [ __ ] like acrobatic as [ __ ] The window flew, the gate flew up, he dove out, does a roll and takes off. The security the cos come charging down the aisle and I act like, "Oh, let me get out of your way." And then like and then they were like, "You [ __ ] blocked us.

Ken Rideout51:35

I was in intermediate.

Ken Rideout52:16

That's the way. And I remember this black kid, John Wilson. Everybody called him puppet cuz he looked like a

He was light-skinned black, but he looked like one of those puppets from like the Twilight Zone. So I nicknamed him Puppet. And he beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of me. He was such a good boxer. And I just grabbed him and I started stomping him out.

And he's like, I go, "The boots, buddy. The boots. Don't forget the boots." It was cool. Like um when I got out of there, I didn't have nothing. And then I went back to the neighborhood. I never grew up with my mom. So, she was like, "We're there smoking weed and doing all this shit." She's like, "What are you kid What are you planning to do with your life?" I said, "I don't know. I just got out. I want to have a little freedom or whatever." And then I went back to

Ken Rideout53:38

And this time, what year? 17, 18.

Yeah. 17. So, I went I join I went into the I went into the Navy. But I was a mess. I never dealt with any of the [ __ ] [ __ ] that happened to me as a kid. All I knew was violence. I was a [ __ ] addict. I was a mess.

Ken Rideout53:56

I never went to school. I dropped out in seventh grade. I went to the University of the Streets. That's what I told people. That's where I got my education. I learned how to fight. New York was everything you heard. Like I put it in my book, City of Fear. You're going to read about it. And it's in that book, too.

Every [ __ ] thing I went to,

Destroying monsters. If anyone wants to check it out, awesome book.

Yeah. So then, uh, basically my mom was like, I want you to meet somebody. She takes us out to [ __ ] Flushing Main Street. Last stop on a seven train. We come out. It's a [ __ ] recruiting station. She takes me in there. She's like, "Sign the [ __ ] papers. I'm signing you in. Sign into that or go back to jail. What's your choice?" You know, you know what we said?

Ken Rideout54:46

Who's we? Your brother had to go.

I went in on the buddy program with E in 1980.

Ken Rideout54:54

What did you know about the Navy? Were you nervous?

Ken Rideout54:58

No, there was my mother's boyfriend Carl was in the Navy. So that's it was like I was like, "All right." And she he just was like, "I'm a Navy recruiter. I can get all this [ __ ] squashed for you right now." At that point, all the enlistments were way down. So they were just taking [ __ ] crumb bums like you know.

But you didn't know anything about

I didn't know [ __ ] You know what we heard about the Navy? You could party like a [ __ ] And it's like you everybody in the Navy is stoners. Yeah.

Cuz at that point they weren't piss testing yet.

Ken Rideout55:30

And this dude is there with long hair. He's like, "Hey man, you guys know there's an angel dust spot like three blocks from here and we're like really? We're [ __ ] going by five bags of dust and get [ __ ] dusted. I never been on a plane."

Ken Rideout55:48

This is right when I'm going to boot camp. I'm at Fort Hamilton about to catch a flight to the Great Lakes.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Ken Rideout55:57

I'm on the [ __ ] plane having hallucinations and [ __ ] dust. They land in and we went in January. It was freezing. We get off the bus in the middle of the [ __ ] night. They do that to disorient you. You know that? It's a [ __ ] psychological thing.

Everything you ever SAW ABOUT GET ON THE LINE, YOU [ __ ] RAISINS. LET'S GO. you [ __ ] like everything just screaming at us [snorts] and I'm [ __ ] dusted.

Ken Rideout56:59

So you had no problem with boot camp. You adjusted quickly.

I was [ __ ] flying. They made me the physical training petty officer. As a matter of fact, I I made all the qualifications to ship out to Buds and

Ken Rideout57:42

I was [ __ ] They didn't piss test. I was doing acid. I was doing Ludws. I was I I had a [ __ ] drug business. And then my ship started deploying. And my first deployment was to Jamaica. I brought back three pounds of lambs bread in [ __ ] statues and [ __ ] and like

So you were on the ship for three months.

No, we we had shore duty cuz the ship was coming out of Newport News. So I'm a plank owner. This is in 1980. I'm a plank owner of the USS Arkansas. That means I'm with the original crew, okay,

When it came out of like the [ __ ] shipyard. But the whole time I had short duty for like six, seven months, I'm going to DC hanging out with Henry Rollins and [ __ ] Ian MacKaye and seeing Bad Brains.

Now at that point, are you into music at all? You just a fan of music?

No, I was I was into the punk rock [ __ ] cuz I was going to Maxis Kansas City and CBS in the 70s at 15 years old. Like Hilly and them would all let you in the club as long as they didn't Maxis didn't even care. Peter Crowley, he he he was like booking the bands then like

But I'm saying you weren't playing music at the time. You were just a fan.

Playing music. I was a big time fan of punk rock

And and rock. Like I saw Led Zeppelin. I saw the Stones. [ __ ] everybody, you know. And I say that too was music was the only thing that helped me get through what I went through in the foster home.

Ken Rideout59:23

So I started going to this club, the Taj Mahal. Like I was into the punk rock which was like pogo and all this [ __ ] So Henry Rollins and all them came down there with the Teen Idols and the Untouchables and they just got back from LA and they were [ __ ] slam dancing and shaved heads and [ __ ] chains and bob wire on their boots. I'm like, "What the [ __ ] is this?" Yeah.

Ken Rideout59:49

Two days later I shaved my [ __ ] head, had the chain belt the same. So, at first they didn't want to let me hang out at the Taj Mahal because the punk rockers hated Navy people,

Ken Rideout1:00:00

But these rednecks came in the bar one night [ __ ] with everybody and nobody would fight them. I picked up a bar stool and went to [ __ ] work and they were like, "Okay, you can hang out the [ __ ] punks there." So, that's how I got in in the punk scene. I was the only Navy guy hanging out with them. Okay? They didn't let military people hang out.

Ken Rideout1:00:42

Yeah.

You know cuz you're not allowed to go off the base in like punk clothes and [ __ ] during the day. Yeah. And then I would get to the club and I would change into my punk [ __ ] hang out for happy hour, get

Ken Rideout1:01:12

He's like, "You don't understand. They're black." And I went upstairs and it was the

Ken Rideout1:01:12

I was just I still get goosebumps thinking about and I was like, "Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] I've never seen anything." I saw Zeppelin. I saw everybody. I've never seen anything like the energy and everything. And then they had this song attitude about PMA positive. What the [ __ ] is positive man? I went back. I sold their manager acid.

Ken Rideout1:01:42

Because I I was selling real acid. I was I had a drug business. Yeah.

Ken Rideout1:01:57

Yeah.

Ken Rideout1:03:56

Meaning you have to stay on the ship.

Ken Rideout1:04:04

Okay. And they had me doing like [ __ ] deck grinder. Anybody who's a boat mate, you know what a deck grinder is. It pulls the nonskid off off the flight deck. We had a hilo. We would take on hilos and [ __ ] They would come fast roping.

Ken Rideout1:04:20

On the [ __ ] fan tail of our ship out at sea when

Ken Rideout1:04:46

I don't understand why they take your money. You've just been arrested. You just been charged with the crime. You haven't been down. They do [ __ ] no pay. They dropped me down to seaman recruit. They they reduced my pay grade and took all my pay. That's what they do.

Ken Rideout1:05:00

It doesn't matter.

Okay. It doesn't matter if I've been convicted as far I got caught with drugs. That's all. They sent me the captain's mast.

Oh [ __ ]

Ken Rideout1:05:31

And this [ __ ] comes by and he goes, "Faggot." And he and I'm on my knees with the deck grinder and he [ __ ] kicks over the bucket of red lead on my [ __ ] pants. And something in me just, you know, you hit that. You know, you got a temper, bro. I've been around you. I just drove here with you. You ready to [ __ ] deck that guy that cut you off?

Something just snapped. And it wasn't like I went postal. I would never go postal. I never went like, "Oh, I see black." It was never like that. You know that real fighters don't see black. It's technical.

Ken Rideout1:07:19

Yeah. They didn't know I was supposed to be handcuffed to the [ __ ] bed.

Ken Rideout1:07:27

They gave me my they they gave me a ID and they gave me a check. They never said I was supposed to be restricted. And then they're like, "Well, your ships we can't contact your ship. We're going to send you back to Norolk." After I got out of the hospital with the IV

Ken Rideout1:08:49

He's like, "All right, time for you to get the [ __ ] out of here." I go to 9:30 Club in DC and I saw the Undead. Bobby Steele was the original guitar player for the Misfits. He had a new band called The Undead. I saw the New York license plate. I was like, "Yo, are you going back to New York?" They're like, "Why?" I was like, "I need a ride. Drop me off, get out of the [ __ ] van on Avenue A. First person I run into HR from the Bad Brains standing in the studio at 171 sees me and GOES RUST THE FAR RIGHT.

Ken Rideout1:09:55

So, I was on a [ __ ] quaude that night. I was still getting [ __ ] up. You know, they call them gorilla biscuits for a reason. You just want to fight anybody. So the [ __ ] this dude, Crazy Eddie, he's like neck like that Puerto Rican dude comes up and tries to [ __ ] stab me and I [ __ ] blocked it. And I and the music the brains were playing and I go, "If you do that again, I'm

Ken Rideout1:10:50

They're smacking people. [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out of here. Don't come back. I'm standing outside with a [ __ ] for

Ken Rideout1:11:13

I'm homeless, by the way. I'm sleeping in burnt out buildings in Alphabet City. And I go, "Now you owe me [ __ ] a$180, you [ __ ] scumbag." And he tries to stab me. I block it again. [ __ ] bang bang. Hands on him. Headb butt. Drag him by the hair to the curb. And I start bashing his head off the curb. The whole gang goes, "Yo, motherfucker." I take off my chain belt. They come at me. Four dudes with knives. I'm [ __ ] lashing [ __ ] fighting these dudes like a [ __ ] like re like straight up.

The punk rockers were like like the look on Crazy Eddie's face when I cracked them. It was just like they never seen anything like like they didn't think somebody was going to [ __ ] do that. I ended up getting stared. But I tried to run back into the they stabbed me in the shoulder. I ran back and one of the Beastie Boys and I'm pretty sure it was Adrock Adam Horowitz tried to close the [ __ ] door on me to stop me from coming in.

So I'm halfway in. I'm like, "Open the [ __ ] door, motherfucker." And they're coming running cuz I lost the chain. So I just started zigzagging in the street and I ran to get. So as I'm getting in, they just take one of them takes the knife and goes right in the [ __ ] shoulder. And uh I got in. I cursed them all out. You [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] None of you help me. I'm out there [ __ ] fighting.

Ken Rideout1:14:49

And when you started working with the bad brains, is that when you got into like the plant-based and the drug-free? And when did you get sober?

So that's what it was because I was still drinking and getting [ __ ] up and HR said to me,

"Hr is the lead singer singer." So, so put it this way, their first record, The Raw Sessions with the Lightning Bolt in the Capital, it's voted as the great MCA, who was my boy, Adam Yao, said, "This is the greatest punk hardcore record of all time. It's it's like the most amazing record." And I was there for all of the recording of that. I was living in 171 studio and HR we would break night. That was a term about New York when you stayed up all night.

Ken Rideout1:16:14

It's funny. I lived on First Avenue and 10th Street when I met you.

I know where you live, [ __ ] I know that building on top of

Ken Rideout1:16:25

Yes.

So which was the garbage truck depot back in the day. They they had to redo the foundation to put your building on top of them.

Ken Rideout1:16:33

But this little Italian man would open up the [ __ ] door cuz he'd be baking inside. So he kept the gate locked but he opened up the door and the bread, the smell of the [ __ ] Italian bread. So we would go there, get Italian bread, go to the fruit stand, get avocados, make and go in Tomkin Square Park and just talk philosophy and like things just started changing, man. I got they got me a job at at a health food store and then I started learning a philosophy and it was connected to intricral yoga.

Ken Rideout1:17:34

Wasn't uh neuroscience guru Andrew Huberman was it?

Ken Rideout1:17:40

But uh and then

He says hello by the way.

Yeah, I love him. I I I just heard his I just listened to something that he said the other day and he said somebody told me there's two types of people in this world. It's those who go through very bad things and they use it as an excuse to be [ __ ] up. And then there's the other people who go through bad things, process it, and use their life to do good for others in the world.

Ken Rideout1:18:08

It's, you know, I love Andrew, man. I went running with him last time I was out. He's a fit [ __ ] man.

Ken Rideout1:18:17

Is this around the time where you get into the Hari Krishna movie?

Ken Rideout1:18:22

And what brought that on? like of all

So the drummer so so the manager for PRA foods was this guy Vinnie Signarelli so he was in a band called the Dots which was a punk band in New York in the 70s so I I was he got me a job at the Hellf store brains got me a job at the Hellf store and then he's like we started talking philosophy every day cuz you know we're stacking shelves we're making [ __ ] at the juice bar and then we just started talking philosophy and I'm like wow this dude's into some crazy [ __ ] what are talking about.

He's like, "Why don't you come to the temple with me on 7th Avenue?" And I went up there and I was like, "This is the most beautiful thing." He's like, "They play this song in the morning and it's George Harrison playing bass on it." And I was like, it's like George Harrison plays the bass. It's from the

Brahma Samita is the is the prayers. And George Harrison played bass on it. And I was like, "What the [ __ ] are you like, what is all this?" And they fed me and I was like, "These are the coolest [ __ ] people ever." So I went out on tour with the Bad Brains and then our band Blood Clot formed. We were the roadies of the Bad Brains cuz like anytime something went wrong, they were turning roster. So they talked with the roster pua and our blood clot fixed a blood clot on the blood clot microphone not working roster.

So because we fixed the blood clot situations, all the roadies formed a band called Blood Clot.

That's when I met you. I remembered every time I saw and we open that's how I got the name John Blood because there was other Johns. They were like John John from Blood Clot. John Bloodclot. Then it just became blood clot. And I remember somebody going yeah, you know what his nickname is? Blood clot. And these people would just be like, "What the?"

Matter of fact, when I met you at at Crunch, I didn't even know you had a last name. I only knew you was Johnny Bloodclaw.

Johnny Blood.

And I would just be like, "Hey, Blood."

A few people that still call me, "Hey, Johnny Bloodclaw." [clears throat]

Seriously, when you were on social media, I was like, "Is this the same guy?" I don't know. He had a last name.

Yeah. John Joseph McGowan.

Ken Rideout1:20:39

Where'd you do that? uh Hawaii and and uh New York and I was all into it. I was going to bed at 8 o'clock, getting up at two, training in martial arts.

Ken Rideout1:20:51

I want to say you all

Ken Rideout1:21:01

And that and that's

And then while you're awol you're also now you're sober. You're doing the plant-based thing. You're living a clean life. So, you're cleaning your act up, but you still have these charges hanging over your head.

Oh, yeah. I still had the the drug charge cuz there's a statute of limitations on that is seven years.

But the the Awol [ __ ] never goes away,

Right? But I mean, I don't think the statute of limitation expires. If you get charged and then dip and skip town, you can't skip town for 20 years and then be like, "Oh,

The warrant goes away. There's it's a sevenyear statute of limitations." I thought it was the charge of that crime, but I thought you got charged.

Ken Rideout1:21:43

Yeah.

And then we started blowing up. [ __ ] Metallica is coming to see like just [ __ ] we put this record out and right now,

Wait, wait, go back for a sec. So, you're you're going to the Harry Krishna thing. You're living a clean life. You're roies for Bad Brains. When do you start prior to that?

Ken Rideout1:22:17

And that's when I went out and did blood clot with the bad brains.

Ken Rideout1:22:41

With a different bass player.

Ken Rideout1:22:43

Okay.

Ken Rideout1:22:52

Okay. And you were singing?

Yeah. And we lived in a burnt out building, me and the bass player. And when I was a Christian, I would take bucket showers and all this [ __ ] Like we would travel and sell books and [ __ ] stickers, whatever. So I would go down with a wrench, open up the fire hydrant in the middle of winter, turn on the fire hydrant, and take ice cold. I was doing [ __ ] cold plunge before anybody. This is [ __ ] 84.

Yeah. And the Puerto Ricans would come by cuz if you know Alphabet City, we were in 713 East 9th. That's [ __ ] no man's land for white people. That's between C and D.

That was only a couple blocks from where I was living.

Avenue A, you were adventurous. If you went to B, you were bold. C, you were crazy. D, you were dead. We were in between C and D.

Puerto Ricans coming in there trying to take the [ __ ] building from us. They were not successful cuz we had some crazy [ __ ] in there, too. And then I would take ice cold bucket showers and then I was a bike messenger because it was the only job you could get in the city where you didn't where you could get physically fit and not have to show an ID. They gave you a check cashing card. You would go right. So then that's what I was doing to pay for the rehearsals and the recordings.

Ken Rideout1:24:35

Two years of [ __ ] addiction, freebasing, the whole [ __ ] nine yard, the whole nine yards. Like [ __ ] I spun out cuz I was like, it was betrayal to me. Like this guy was my [ __ ] friend and you did this to me and I had to come home and it was just it was it was [ __ ] up. And it was everything I worked for in this band. I put all this [ __ ] my blood, sweat, [ __ ] everything into this.

Ken Rideout1:25:23

And [ __ ] served it to the homeless. Y

Ken Rideout1:26:00

So my first experience freebasing was I almost got murdered by the Cuban cartel. Went back to New York then got into the crack. I was [ __ ] strong armed robbing all the [ __ ] crack dealers, crack spots. They had Kos's on me. They were like, "We're going to kill that white surfer looking [ __ ] when we But I was still I was so cracked out. I was doing like 500 push-ups a day." [ __ ] like just crazy. on 18th Street and 8th Avenue.

Ken Rideout1:27:53

It's like taxi driver opening of that movie. And the guy goes and I turned to him and I go, "Get the [ __ ] out of my car. I'm going to [ __ ] kill you." And he laughed and I just said boom. And I just [ __ ] slammed him in his temple and he's [ __ ] leaking all over my girl's [ __ ] car. And then he's trying to reach for his piece. I hit the gas pedal. I'm like down the [ __ ] street fasttailing, whacking cars.

I'm like, "Dave, [ __ ] open the door." I'm trying to push the guy out and I'm So I got my hand on the [ __ ] steering wheel and I'm holding him from He blasted one round through the windshield. I'm He's trying to shoot us. I'm like, "Get the [ __ ] open the [ __ ] door." So he pushes the door open and I kick the [ __ ] I put my left foot on the gas pedal. Kicked him out the [ __ ] car.

Ken Rideout1:29:21

So the cops wanted to stop the drug traffic on Clinton between Hston and Delansancy was all drug dealers.

Ken Rideout1:29:28

So I pull up to [ __ ] Clinton Street at the light and a dude comes and I stop and I roll down the window. He takes a bag of jumbos of crack

Ken Rideout1:29:38

The little vials and he puts it in.

Ken Rideout1:29:57

Why did you go there? If you already robbed this other kid for two hours

Just to [ __ ] with him cuz he was such a pussy." HE'S LIKE, "YOU'RE [ __ ] CRAZY."

Ken Rideout1:30:47

I was high. We were up for three days.

Ken Rideout1:31:19

They're very wealthy people. And they hired

She's doing drugs, too.

Yeah. She [ __ ] she was a cokehead. But I was freebasing. So we robbed the Red Hot Chili Peppers merch girl. Like it was crazy. Everybody knew me, but they're like, "Yeah, we heard you were all [ __ ] up." Like, you know, [ __ ] driving up and down the east, the west coast, cashing bad checks, [ __ ] all

Ken Rideout1:31:50

So, we go out there. I'm doing 90 on whatever Highway 10 or whatever that [ __ ] whatever the [ __ ] goes from LA to Palm Springs.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Woo woo. [ __ ] get lit up behind me. I'm like, "That's it. I'm get I got no license. All the drugs in the car. [ __ ] cop comes up. License and registration." I'm like, "I'm sorry." You know, [ __ ] I'm telling her. She's [ __ ] crying. That was it. I was going to prison. He goes, "License and registration." And then he puts his arm there and he's like, you see him [ __ ] "Sir, I'm not going to tell you again.

Ken Rideout1:33:25

So we land. She tells me in the middle of the flight and back then I took an ounce and I put it in the bag that you check in and I put the other ounce in the overhead and she's like not talking to me. I'm like, "Yo, what's up?" And she's like crying. She's like, "I don't want to die." And I was like, "What the [ __ ] are you talking about?" And she's like, "I you you scare me. I I' I've seen you do things like I'm scared of you now." I was like, "Who the [ __ ] did you call at the airport?" She won't tell me.

I go, "Who did you call?" She said, "My father." I said, "Did you tell him what flight we were on?" And she just started crying. I'm like, "You [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm going to [ __ ] prison now when this plane lands." I look at her and you think I'm going to go like, "That's it." You know, okay. You know what the first words out of my mouth to her? I go, I got to sniff all the blow in the overhead. I start going in the bathroom.

I got coke all over my face. I'm reading the Bavad Gita like up and down the aisles sweating like you're ALL GOING TO HELL FOR EATING meat to the hellish planets. THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE GOING. And I'm showing them the pictures. And the stew is just like, "Sir, you have to sit down or I'm going to call the police. We're going to have the police way." I said, "They're already going to be there." This is how I got away. The [ __ ] jetway lands.

Ken Rideout1:35:28

They went out to the sidewalk looking for me. They're like, "Where the [ __ ] is this guy?" They run back in the [ __ ] terminal. I get the [ __ ] luggage. I jump in the [ __ ] cab. I got all the coke, all the money. I go to a [ __ ] This is how this This is when I stopped getting high. I go to this crack house on Avenue C and back then you used to go and you hit the people off with some [ __ ] coke or crack or whatever and you could sit there and [ __ ] smoke crack, right?

Ken Rideout1:35:59

And I had all the coke and I'm cooking it up and they were smoking crack.

Ken Rideout1:36:42

You never got high again.

Not on that. I didn't really get clean completely. This is my 26th year. So, then I started dating this model in New York. We were doing rolling on ecstasy and mushrooms and just like smoking and weed brownies. And I'm like I I started feeling like it's going to be somebody's going to break out that bag of coke and I'm going to go down that path again.

Yeah.

Ken Rideout1:37:07

That's it.

Ken Rideout1:37:42

The firefighter that did the film for 911. He's got the documentary coming on CNN this year, the 25 year anniversary of 911.

And he's a big TV producer, director guy now. So he goes, "You know, the first time I ever met you, I was walking on Avenue A with uh this girl. I was writing a script together. That's who introduced me to James." And he said, "You were out there." She told me all this crazy [ __ ] about how you grew up. And we walked by and you were out feeding the [ __ ] homeless people at Tomkins Square Park. And and that just and he's a tough guy from the Bronx.

He's like that just resonated with me like, "Wow, look at this [ __ ] He don't need to be doing I started that program in ' 83 and I still find get finance it and when I'm in New York I go out I feed the [ __ ] homeless people plant-based organic food the whole [ __ ] and I have not gotten high since I lost my brother three years ago. That's why I started penning this book. I knew he was coming to the end of his life.

Ken Rideout1:38:54

Yeah.

Ken Rideout1:39:05

So it was drug resistant. It was eating his bones away. They kept doing surgeries on him on his heart, everything. It [ __ ] his whole body up. So he went to the Fingerlakes to detox the Fingerlakes, New York to detox and then get the surgery. So I knew he went up there and like I had put him in rehab. So the day before 9/11, I did an intervention on him and I he was going to go to the Caribbean and the [ __ ] planes hit.

Ken Rideout1:39:35

We relived every painful [ __ ] thing that we ever went through as kids. Everything was coming at him and it just I'm So you got 911 with the [ __ ] dead bodies everywhere and him doing this and like me having to and I called up my mother and I I went off on her. I was like this kid she's like you don't know the whole story. I said I know the [ __ ] story that matters. You abandoned us. You chose your [ __ ] boyfriends over us.

Ken Rideout1:43:51

So, didn't [ __ ] some people up, but that's And he just drank and drugged himself to death in the middle of writing that book. And I, you know, there's always been this spiritual connection between me and him. This is the thing about him. He wasn't a scumbag. He was a mechanic in the Navy. and he went to like when they rescued all those college students down in um remember all those seals died and [ __ ] they they went to rescue those college kids in Granada.

Yeah.

Frank was in Frank was on the ship that went down there to rescue those [ __ ] kids down there.

And like when he got out of the Navy, like anything you said to him, he would give you the shirt off his [ __ ] back if I needed him to help somebody with

Ken Rideout1:45:53

And how I processed that grieving dealing with that of losing my brother after everything we've been through as kids. And

Ken Rideout1:46:29

And that's what James Hanland said. This script is about breaking the cycle of addiction and abuse. You were able to do that in your family, bro. Because my my cousin, she goes, "Your father and my father, like when they were old enough to reach up to the bar, our grandfather, our grandfather was giving them hard liquor. He died at 50 years old from cerosis of the liver." So, it's a thing with the Irish, you know, they had to [ __ ] they always say you got the gene.

And for me, it was it was not just drugs, it was the violence that came with it, too. because the the the drugs made me a violent person just because like I started internalizing all the pain. It would just it was breaking open those old wounds. And that's why I said when I started writing my memoir, The Evolution of a Cro-Magnon, I I processed all of that. I never went to rehab. I never went to none of that [ __ ] No therapy, nothing.

Same here. I didn't go to rehab, but I mean I've done therapy and stuff, but that was uh I I processed all of it in that book. I [snorts] stayed by myself for 5 years, no relationships, no nothing. And just sat in New York City in my room just writing that [ __ ] book. And that's why it was like a powerful book and and it's helped a lot of it's helped a lot of people. But that's what James Hanland just said that the other day because we just had he read the script.

He's like, "Dude, I've read this script three times.

Ken Rideout1:48:12

How do you think um the endurance sports helped? Like you were obviously you were sober long before you got into the endurance journey and the Ironman stuff, but has that been a huge help? Like for me, that was like my salvation. And a lot of times, it's funny, people ask me, does it is that like a new addiction? And I don't hide from that. I'm like, yeah, maybe. But one addiction had me wanting to kill myself, and the other one gave me a source of pride.

And I don't think that it's necessarily the answer for everyone, but it's clear that it's done something for you like it has for me.

You know, how many people are in recovery who take up

Ken Rideout1:48:42

What the [ __ ] problem do you have with that? There's always a negative connotation attached to the word obsession. But look at Goggins. What does he say? If you're not obsessed with your [ __ ] you're going to give it up. You're going to walk away,

Right? So, yeah, I'm obs I'm obsessed with doing good [ __ ]

Ken Rideout1:49:15

And anybody that has a problem with that,

I don't give a [ __ ] People are always looking to slag you for something.

Usually though, when it's people are talking [ __ ] about you, those people you can almost trace exactly whatever they're being critical about, it's something directly related to them. Cuz when's the last time you heard someone that you admire or respect talking [ __ ] about other people?

You don't. And Goggins says that too. People that are successful don't have time to be [ __ ] digging up [ __ ] on people and like, you know,

Leaving negative comments on social media. I always think when someone leaves a shitty comment about someone they don't know, imagine this guy must be telling his friends like, "Johnny, go on social media right now. Look at the comment I just left. I got him good, dude. Didn't I do

Ken Rideout1:50:00

I read a lot of books." And that's what the four agreements says from Domiguel Ruez. It's like don't take it personal, right? That's right. Don't always do your best. Be impeccable with your word. Uh don't make assumptions and and uh and don't take things personal. And what does he say? It's their poison. They're showing you what their world is all about. They're holding up the [ __ ] mirror and saying, "Hey world, here's who I am. I'm such a shitty [ __ ] person that this guy's on here making a positive post and I'm going to go on there and talk shit." That's what social media is.

Ken Rideout1:50:35

And you know, I'm not going to hide the fact that I put together that concert during the [ __ ] lockdowns in Tonka Square Park where I said, "Fuck you. This is our former protest and we had, you know, 3,500 people come and it was punk rock as a [ __ ] Everybody had a good time and we played and then everybody started, you know, talking [ __ ] about it and whatever. And I'm like, look, man, I just do what I just I do what I do and if you But there was one [ __ ] in particular who was running his mouth.

Oh, wait till I see you, [ __ ] I was in New York last spring and uh I'm coming out of Lower East Side Gym, which is East Side Gym, Ephraim

Ken Rideout1:51:20

Okay. Taxi Driver was what, 226? The wh house.

Ken Rideout1:51:24

Ephraim is in the basement there. His gym. It's the oldest gym in New York. All the Puerto Ricans. And they were open during the [ __ ] pandemic. So, I was going in there, whatever. I'm friends with those guys because I worked out at Gladiators on Sixth Street. So, I come out of the [ __ ] gym and who do I see walking down the street with his girlfriend? The [snorts] [ __ ] dude who's mouthing off and he tries to like lower. I said, "Nah." I stood in front of him.

Ken Rideout1:53:00

I got a rock a rock album coming. maybe this film and just trying to help people, you know, get clean. I'm always there for people online and you know, but I want to say this cuz I know you asked me before and I didn't answer it. I got turned in by my band members, the same dude who robbed me. I got back with him in 1991. He stole all the tour money.

Ken Rideout1:53:38

So I fulfilled the obligations that he signed me as a personal artist cuz I had another record deal coming with Road Run. I had to get it released. They said, "Well, we're not releasing you cuz your former bass player signed you as an individual artist." So I I they go, "Give us a tour of Europe and the States." So I start getting phone calls from him. If you don't [ __ ] stop playing as the Cro-Mags, I'm going to rat you out for everything you ever did.

Ken Rideout1:54:25

So what happened with the with the Awol charge?

Oh. So I got away and I went down to DC and the scene in New York. It was in Spin magazine and

When the cops cut up to you and they're like, "Oh,

They didn't catch up with me."

I thought you said he just turned you in.

No, he turn he sent them to my house. I was I had a I was on a paint job.

Oh, okay.

I got a [ __ ] 911 911. That was the code. So then like and then before I could call that back, I got this weird number and I call it and they go I go, "Yeah." He goes, he goes, "Det the technone, ninth precinct." He goes, "Do you know a blah blah blah and a blah blah blah?" And I go, "Yeah." He goes, "Well, you need to come in."

Ken Rideout1:55:23

So, I called this lawyer and he goes, "Get the [ __ ] out of New York. Come down to DC first." He's a JAG lawyer. He goes, "The first opportunity

Ken Rideout1:55:23

didn't want nobody to know I was in the Cro-Mags, but back so in 95 there was all these punk rockers in the Navy and they marched me in the chowo with the [ __ ] overalls on, you know, prison or whatever the [ __ ]

Ken Rideout1:56:10

I'M LIKE [ __ ] dude. So then the chief found out who I was and his son was a fan of the band. He's bringing the albums in for me to sign. He got me as a conscientious objector. He's like, "This guy's been a monk. He had a childhood, rough childhood,

Ken Rideout1:56:10

So, they just gave me uh I got a general deal. They even offered me my my [ __ ] medical benefits and I turned it down.

I go, I'm not taking nothing. I didn't, you know, I don't deserve nothing. I I don't want nothing. I'm I don't want nothing from the from the government. Nothing. And they processed me out. I went to uh got out of there and I went to back to Nimttz Hall transient personnel unit and they gave me my DD214 and said [ __ ] aa vista. They thought I was going to go to jail for

Ken Rideout1:57:10

Yeah.

And I forgave him again and then all that [ __ ] happened at Webster Hall that became this whole big thing which was [ __ ] He's around. I'm not allowed to say. So he called me, my ex singer invited me and put me on the guest list and had me. He just goes around [ __ ] lying and like like I didn't invite him. He wanted to come and I said no. He snuck in using a laminate and then came in with a knife and like it's just all negative [ __ ] And now it's the 40-year anniversary and they want all these people have been hitting me up promoters to do the original lineup.

And you know what I said? Not interested. Oh, you're leaving a lot of money on the table. Well, guess what? It ain't about money. It's about integrity. It's about not aligning myself with negative energy and negative people. No matter how Oh, you guys could travel in separate vehicle as that person. I was like, that's a show. That's a sellout. I'm not I'm not interested in that. So I turned down, you know, the uh any opportunity to do, you know, he had people reaching out, oh man, you know, come on, man.

He wants to, you know, all this. And I'm like, I'm done, man. I said in 2000 that if you know, if he pulls some [ __ ] this time, it's never going to happen again. Three strikes, you're [ __ ] out. And you know, there's just so many good people in the world. Like, that's who I want to surround myself with. I I don't want to be around negative people. And it's just like I wrote a book, The PMA Effect, you know. So, positive mental attitude.

Ken Rideout1:59:03

What's the next on the uh racing scene?

Ken Rideout1:59:10

Tear. And I'm supposed to do Texas, but I I just hit up Andrew Texas.

Yeah. But like, dude, my shoulder's bad. I got to So, I just got some I just got some really good BPC157. I'm trying to let it heal, but I don't think I'm going to be ready. So, I'll probably do a half and then a full in the fall or something like that. But, I'm so busy with the other

Ken Rideout1:59:45

[ __ ] January in shorts. I getting [ __ ] D3. I rebound

The little mini trampolines in the backyard in the morning. I swim in the springs, Blue Springs. I was telling you in the car like I grew up singing the soul and everything, right? So like

I [ __ ] love the Spinners, man. They're like my favorite one of my favorite bands. So that's how this I want to call it like soul kind of blues type stuff came

Ken Rideout2:00:22

You know and I tagged the spinners you know and I was like hand me down my walking cane hand me down my hand hurry now and don't be late cuz I ain't got time to chat.

Ken Rideout2:00:22

the black dudes were like, "Yo, [ __ ] How you learn to sing like that?" I'm like, "I'm from New York, bro.

Ken Rideout2:00:57

Like all of those records, man. Like, yo, man, when I when I listen to [ __ ] songs in the key of life, man, I [ __ ] it makes me cry still. It's like, it's just so deep. All that music back then, man. The [ __ ] just

Ken Rideout2:01:46

And I'd hear this chick in there hitting like playing the piano and singing her keys. I'm like like a [ __ ] angel, right? So, and she came out and I go, "Wow, you have the most [ __ ] beautiful voice." She goes, "Thank you so much." And I go, "Yo, that [ __ ] girl could sing." And he goes, "Oh, yeah. Stephanie's going to be a [ __ ] huge star." It was Lady Gaga.

Ken Rideout2:02:11

So, like I train my voice and the running really helps, too, cuz it's diaphragmatic breathing.

Like Don Lawrence teaches you like anchor, belt out the [ __ ] note.

Yeah. So Danny was like, "Yo, man. I'm going to [ __ ] write some [ __ ] and really it's going to take you outside of like the world that you come from, but I want to challenge you to." So I played you the song in the car and he got that dude to sing on it and it was like the lyrics of this book surrounding the addiction of my family and it's a very powerful

Ken Rideout2:03:19

How many [ __ ] watts are you pushing dude? Are you on are you on straa? I want to judge you. Oh yeah, I held uh you know I I held [ __ ] 400 watts for 47 minutes the other day. Like [ __ ] all those people. I want to talk to the degenerates like me who used and you you [ __ ] bastard who used [ __ ] this [ __ ] to overcome [ __ ] in their life. That's what Ironman and all this [ __ ] is to me.

I meet amazing [ __ ] people. I meet amazing people going into the prisons, man. Amazing [ __ ] people. Well, it's crazy how many people I bump into and they're like, "Yo, you know John Joseph like, "Well, dude, you've lived one of the most colorful lives and uh all the [ __ ] you talk about helping people. That's all only thing I know about you is I'm like, you can say whatever you want about John, but he's honest. He has integrity. And when he says he's trying to help people, it's the truth.

He doesn't have time."

Talk about like most of the [ __ ] that I do. It's just it's

God's keeping a [ __ ] you know the way I say karma never loses an address that could be bad or good you know and God's keeping score that's a powerful moment in the script cuz I ran up on the people that abused me you know I was like you know it was a powerful moment cuz

Ken Rideout2:04:41

Yeah. And I could have and and and I rolled up wearing a [ __ ] wife beater, jacked, inked up. I had Ray-B bands on. They asked me to come inside the house. I go, I don't want to go in there. Would you think I got good [ __ ] memories out? Cuz we did a reading of Evolution of a Cro-Magnon in Babylon one town away

Ken Rideout2:05:29

And I go, "Hey, how you doing, sir?" "Oh, good. Good." I said, "How long you lived on this block?" He he goes, "Uh, 65 years now." And I go, "Who lives in that house over there? Is that still blah blah blah blah blah?" And he's like, "Oh, yeah." I go, "Yeah, I was one of the foster kids in there back in the 70s that got that house

Ken Rideout2:07:23

Remember the scene in Sleepers when they confronted Kevin Bacon and the [ __ ] and they went west then and just these tough

Ken Rideout2:08:28

And uh the father had died. They had a painting when she opened the door and it said he's with our Lord and Savior now. And it was a [ __ ] painting of him with Jesus. And I'm like, that [ __ ] is getting pitched forked through his [ __ ] eyeballs. The [ __ ] is this? Jesus. Well, you people are delusional. But the first thing I did and end here

Cuz they made us clean those carpets with the toilet bowl brushes. Yeah.

And the first thing I [ __ ] did was look in there to see what they had on the floor. And they took the carpets up and they had parquet floors. I said, "Yeah, you don't got no slaves [snorts] to clean your carpet now, huh?

Ken Rideout2:09:12

Anyway, but I just want to say on a personal note, too, like the [ __ ] I've seen you do and you know your children and everything and you adopted a child. I mean, dude, serious on a [ __ ] I'm so proud to know you as a friend and all you've accomplished and you know the endurance stuff and like I wrote about you in this book how you [ __ ] helped the guy in that was it the Gobi Desert. Yeah. you [ __ ] carry this pack and like you know dude it's like you're like a [ __ ] that's a real friend and you know so like growing up in New York you meet so many [ __ ] phonies and I always got the [ __ ] detector on.

I could smell a [ __ ] [ __ ] that's full of [ __ ] from a mile away. It's just that's how I grew up. It's no [ __ ] And ever since I met you and I knew you and then like you you what you were able to do getting clean and then turn, you know, successful in business and the podcast and your accolades as a [ __ ] like as as an athlete. I'm just like I'm so [ __ ] impressed by you, bro.

And I'm not blowing smoke up your ass cuz I tell like you say, "Yeah, Johnny Blot, whatever." I'm always like people are like yo you know this dude like they'll see you whatever the [ __ ] when you did Rich Roll recently and I was like that's my [ __ ] dude that mo and what do I always say when I first saw that [ __ ] HE WAS WHACKED out on pills boxing for [ __ ] and Frank Gorilla will tell you that too cuz you used to be in there [ __ ] hurt in the bag and I was like that motherfucker's high on pills and doing that I would not want to get hit by him sober That's for damn sure.

Well, you're the best, brother. And I love you. We're good friends.

God bless you, dude. Appreciate you being here.

You've done so much. And like I'm honored to have you in my inner circle, you know? It's like you got to be real careful who's in that [ __ ] inner circle and who and like I don't got to worry about that.

Ken Rideout2:11:35

You know, I've been plant-based 40 40 I never use the word vegan. I I I I'm not I don't jive with most of them, but I started eating healthy just to heal myself off all the damage. And like I really feel it helped me. I mean, I'd be up for like 5 days on on [ __ ] crack and freebase and be like wake up to 6 morning and go, "Yo, let's go get some [ __ ] wheat grass juice." And the [ __ ] is like, "Weakrass juice?"

That was the first time I ever heard of someone even drinking wheat grass juice was you in the East Village. You were like, "I'm stopping to get some wheat grass." And I'm like, $5 for a shot of wheat grass. I'm like, I'm good.

And but they be like, yo, weak? Yo, they're like, you need to be in a [ __ ] straight jacket for the [ __ ] I just saw you do. You don't need weak grass. You got to be in [ __ ] Belleview. Dude,

There's only a few people in my life that will like face FaceTime me out of the clear blue. And I always answer when you FaceTime, whether I'm running, hanging at home. I'm always like, "Hold on. John Joseph's gone."

Well, brother, thanks for coming to Nashville. Love you, man. Yeah, man. Fly in, fly out.

Check him out on social media. What's your What's your Instagram?

John Joseph Discipline. Uh, and then I got JJ Crow on Twitter and John Joseph on uh my website. I also coach, you know, like in mindset and all that type of [ __ ] and help people with addiction. It's john Josephisipline.com and

And we'll put it all in the show notes. But

Yeah, we got a lot of mutual friends. Shout out to Andrew Huberman. I love that [ __ ] And Rob Moore, the godfather.

Holy [ __ ] We hung out in Kona, man. Rob's a stud.

Ken Rideout2:13:16

[ __ ] I love Rob, man. He had a kid recently, right?

Ken Rideout2:13:24

Well, Johnny, thanks for being with us. Thanks everyone. Guys, appreciate Do me a favor. Please, please subscribe to the YouTube channel. Huge help for us.

Ride out water. Tastes great.

Boom. All right, guys. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did. Please take a quick minute to subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening. This is a new show, so subscribing makes a huge difference. Please also take a minute to give it a review and leave a comment on Apple Podcast and on Spotify. You can also subscribe and leave a comment on YouTube. Again, this is really important for us, especially now since we're just getting started.

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